Christians are vulnerable to narcs because we’ve been taught since we were children that giving is the right thing to do. The challenge is to determine whether people who ask us for help are asking for a worthy project, or using us for narcissistic feed. Not everyone who asks in the name of Jesus is a friend of His. Beware of the wolf/narcissist in sheep’s clothing.
Narcissistic feed is the term used for the currency an empathetic person gives to satisfy a narcissist. The details depends on the narc. Some might ask for money, while another narc might ask for your vote on the board. One might want you to exclude people they don’t like. while another gets high off of being right. The demands of a narcissist are myriad, but while the currency might be different, the common denominator is the narcissist’s need to use others to get their goals met.
In order to remain on good terms with a religious narcissist you must constantly bring an offering, but such offerings are not for God. To get you to meet his needs, the narc might even claim Jesus needs you to do this. If you can’t satisfy their demands, they might question your relationship with God–after all, if you are truly listening to God, they say you should see their needs.
The bottom line about feeding a narcissist is that it can only continue as long as you meet their demands. If you can’t walk away from such requests and still remain friends, chances are you are dealing with a narcissist. Loving people will understand you are not always available to meet their needs, but a narcissist doesn’t care how their demands affect your life.
The good news is God is not a narcissist, He designed you to live in freedom. He wants you to give from your heart because He loves a cheerful giver.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.
2 Corinthians 3:17
Everyone should give whatever they have decided in their heart.
They shouldn’t give with hesitation or because of pressure.
God loves a cheerful giver.
-2 Corinthians 9:7
The chances are the Religious Narcissist is not ready to let you go so easily and this brings us to Religious Narcia 3 – Spiritual Mind Games