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August 18, 2018August 18, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Journey From the Cave

July 23, 2018July 23, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Why You Can’t Let the Narcissist Shut You Up

June 29, 2018June 29, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Stop Telling Me I Can’t be Political and a Christian Too

June 7, 2018June 7, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Don’t Let the Narcissist Accuse You of Living in the Past

June 3, 2018June 3, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

God as Our Mother

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

If My Wounds Were Visible

May 18, 2018May 26, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narcissistic Feed

May 14, 2018May 14, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Remembering the Good, Even When it’s Bad

May 12, 2018May 12, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narcissistic Mothers vs. Loving Mothers

narcissism, narcissist, relationship, gray rock, littleredsurvivor.com

May 11, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narc Family Drama

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Welcome to Little Red Survivor Freedom From Narcissistic and Religious Abuse

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Cherilyn Clough

Cherilyn Clough is a Shanachie, Stargazer, Cat Whisperer and Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse. She’s writing a memoir because what happens in childhood, never stays in childhood.

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It’s Memoir Monday, Friends! Sometimes the themes we encountered in childhood surface again in adulthood. In my life, themes surrounding authoritarianism, patriarchy, and religious abuse keep popping up. My parents raised me on the fringe of a world church and part of my story was going to an unaccredited “school” during my early teens where the curriculum was child labor and memorizing long religious passages. In this cult-like environment, we were judged for our standards. Women were forced to wear dresses with pants under them when we worked outside. Men were the only ones who spoke and prayed as if God couldn’t stand to hear from women. There was a huge focus on standards—no worldly music, no movies, no sugar, no mixed swimming, no books except for the Bible and church approved writers. The guide for all these standards is preserved a the book they used for a handbook called “Creeping Compromise.” (You can now read it online for free thirty-five years later.) When I left home to attend college, I discovered the mainstream church and found a glorious sense of freedom. My faith became about Jesus—not what I wore or ate. I found music could be a blessing in many forms. I read widely from many authors. I found freedom in God’s grace. Imagine my dismay to discover the man now leading the world church is trying to dial everyone back to the standards in that little book which I discarded decades ago. Imagine a world church with five compliance committees to sniff out all sorts of “sins” which in this leader’s opinion includes ordaining women pastors and listening to worldly music and reading books he doesn’t approve of—I can’t even, friends, but this became a reality by a vote this week. There’s a saying history repeats itself until we learn our lessons. Apparently, We all have lessons to learn. We have to tell our stories because even our childhood stories matter! I’ll be working on my memoir today. I wish you luck with yours! #memoirmonday #religiousabuse #authoritarianism #patriarchy #story #yourstorymatters #religiousnarcissism #littleredsurvivor #smashingthepatriarchy

Hi Friends, it’s Freedom Friday! When I was a teenager, I babysat a girl who had an imaginary monkey. Sophie wasn’t more than three and sometimes the only way to get her to do anything was to pretend her monkey was real. One day we walked to a little country store. Sophie didn’t want to go inside, but when I said her monkey was already inside, she decided to follow. I felt pretty smug about my child psychology skills until Sophie squatted down and stuck her hand through one of the knotholes in a floorboard and made a fist so her hand could not be pulled out. When I called for her to follow me down the aisle, she said she couldn’t because her monkey was stuck under the floor and if she let go he’d fall. For the next hour, no amount of coaxing or candy could get her to let go of her imaginary friend. People coming inside the store tried to help me, but I was stuck waiting for Sophie’s frickin’ monkey to move on. After an hour of standing by, a man came into the store, saw my predicament and loudly asked,”Have any of you seen that monkey riding a bicycle out front?” Sophie said it was her monkey and ran to the window to look out. We laugh at a child’s game, but let’s face it, sometimes we’ve held tightly to our own imaginary monkeys. Sometimes we hang on to things that have already happened that we can’t fix. Sometimes we’ve wallowed in misery that is far past its expiration date. Sometimes we take on people and causes that are not ours or we borrow trouble from the future with our what ifs and the fear of things that might never happen. Jesus told us to stop worrying about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own. We can’t open up our hand to receive the good until we let go of our imaginary monkeys. What do you need to let go of this weekend? Release the monkeys whether they are flying monkeys or imaginary ones—anything that doesn’t serve your purpose in life is wasted energy. As soon as you let go, you’ll open up your hand to receive better things like love and peace. #narcissisticabuse #recovery #lettinggo #flyingmonkeys #survivor #littleredsurvivor #freedomfriday

Here’s something I wrote a couple of years ago. I'm sharing it again in honor of International Day of the Girl. Boy vs. Girl Different reactions to being a pastor Ten year old boy at his baptism: "I want to be a pastor when I grow up!" Parent or Teacher: "Wonderful! You'll make a great pastor!" Ten year old girl at her baptism: "I want to be a pastor when I grow up!" Parent or Teacher: "Are you sure? Have you considered being a nurse or teacher? Or what about a mom?" Fifteen year old boy in Academy: "I really think I might like being a pastor!" Parent or Teacher: "What a wonderful calling! Keep up the good work! I think God might be calling you!" Fifteen year old girl in Academy: "I really think I might like being a pastor!" Parent or Teacher: "Well you've still got time to look at your options--it seems you might be more suited to being a teacher. Do you like kids? Do you want to have kids? Teaching and motherhood are very compatible!" Twenty year old young man in college: "I feel God has been calling me for years to be a pastor so I'm taking theology." The Church Community: "Wonderful! We need more thoughtful and committed pastors like you!" Twenty year old young woman in college: "I feel God has been calling me for years to be a pastor so I'm taking theology." The Church Community: "Are you sure? 'Cause nurses can always get a job and teaching is compatible with motherhood. Besides what will you do when you can't find a conference who hires women? There are many in the church who don't approve of a woman pastor--can you handle it? Well okay, just don't expect to be valued like a male preacher--after all Jesus only had male disciples... "On second thought have you thought about being a wife and using your talents in cradle roll or women's teas? Cause most people expect from a woman." -Cherilyn Clough #internationaldayofthegirl #godisfemininetoo #fightlikeagirl #preachlikeagirl #lovelikeagirl #shineasagirl #supportgirls #supportthegirls #littleredsurvivor #girlpower #globalgirlsalliance

Little Red Survivor ©2018 Cherilyn Clough

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