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Freedom From Narcissistic Abuse

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July 23, 2018July 23, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Why You Can’t Let the Narcissist Shut You Up

June 29, 2018June 29, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Stop Telling Me I Can’t be Political and a Christian Too

June 25, 2018June 25, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Book Review – Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon

June 7, 2018June 7, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Don’t Let the Narcissist Accuse You of Living in the Past

June 3, 2018June 3, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

God as Our Mother

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

If My Wounds Were Visible

May 26, 2018May 27, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Book Review-Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again

May 18, 2018May 26, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narcissistic Feed

May 14, 2018May 14, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Remembering the Good, Even When it’s Bad

May 12, 2018May 12, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narcissistic Mothers vs. Loving Mothers

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Welcome to Little Red Survivor Freedom From Narcissistic and Religious Abuse

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As a survivor of childhood abuse, I finally discovered narcissism and how it affects every member of the family. If you’ve just discovered what narcissism entails, you have my sympathy, but relax, you’ll soon learn to negotiate all the pitfalls and move from surviving to thriving. Don’t let the Narcissist and Flying Monkeys get you down, because knowledge is power and it’s now your turn to rise!

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It’s Memoir Monday, Friends! Have you ever read a memoir which seemed like an angry rant or grim fairy tale? I believe many victims have gone through hell. They certainly deserve to write their stories. If only they realized they could tell a better story by adding one thing—positive memories to contrast with the negative. To write a good memoir, it’s important to realize what a memoir is not. Memoir is NOT listing everything the narcissist did to you. Memoir is NOT seeking sympathy for your childhood wounds. Memoir is NOT getting even with the narcissist. Writers who focus only on the injustice, can end up writing a rant instead of a memoir. A memoir might reveal the wrongs done to you and it can heal and vindicate your soul to get your story on paper, but a true memoir is like a series of snapshots from your life. Just remember every good photograph includes both light and darkness for contrast. It’s true Narcissists are mean people, but unless you were chained inside the basement, there were probably nice people in your story too. If you add them to the mix, it will make your story more interesting to read. There’s an phrase about making your characters go through hell, but the opposite is just as important. Most people will abandoned a book if it doesn’t include some small moments of joy to give both the protagonist and the reader hope. Jeanette Walls, in her memoir, “The Glass Castle,” reminds us of the simple joys despite poverty and abuse. That’s why her memoir became a best seller. #memoirmonday #memoir #story #yourmessystorymatters #beautymatters #tellthetruth #littleredsurvivor

It’s been nearly ten years, but I’ll never forget how the narcissist tried to discredit me. It started with writing a letter and calling our mutual friends to tell them about my supposed sins and trying to scapegoat me. Of course in the long run it didn’t work. I’ll never forget a college roommate who called me up after the narcissist called her and told me what she told him. She knew my character and realized it wasn’t true. The narcissist used projection and lies and intended to ruin my reputation, but my true friends knew me. It was a dark time and the worst part of it was that I didn’t know anything about narcissism except to imagine a caricature of some silly, vain egotist. It was discovering the various traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as defined by the DSM-5, that saved my life. Understanding that the narc’s lack of empathy, need for admiration along with grandiose behavior were all part of a disorder, awakened me to the reality the narc’s behavior had nothing to do with me. Yes, I was targeted, but it was the narcissist who was the problem. We all mess up sometimes, but the narcissist won’t forgive. Whether your so called sins are real or imagined, narcissistic people throw others under the bus to save their own reputation. This because they are consumed with what other people think. In order to feel better about himself, the narcissist needs an enemy. To keep others from noticing what they’ve done, the narcissist will point out all of your mistakes to distract from their own sins. If you’re under attack by a narcissist, there’s not much you can do except focus on self-care and wait it out. People will talk, but not forever. This can actually be a very healing time. Remember the narcissist might try to ruin your reputation, but he can’t change your character. Allow God and your true friends to nourish your soul. Remember who you are and don’t let the narcissist define you. #freedom #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissism #survivor #LittleRedSurvivor #newlife #letgo #selfcare #selfworth

It’s Freedom Friday Friends! We have zero control over what other people do, but we have 100% control over our own reactions. I read an article by a Navy Seal, that states what allows a Seal to succeed in a mission is the dialog in their own mind. Consider the insane rescue conditions of the Thai soccer team recently trapped in a dark cave with rising water. Just reading about the hazards of removing those boys put my mind on edge—I couldn’t imagine being in the conditions with them without panicking, but Seal after Seal risked their own life and despite the insane conditions, all but one survived. Their secret was mind control by using their fear to work for them—rather than against them. The article I read on Medium by Brandon Webb, used the illustration of a child coming up to bat in baseball. If the parent or coach yells, “Don’t strike out!” This is most likely to happen. They are programming the child to fail. If they say, “Hit it hard,” “Keep your eye on the the ball,” etc, the child is more likely to succeed. It’s the same way when you’re dealing with the narcissist. Whether it’s about winning in court, ignoring with the flying monkeys or just giving yourself a hard earned reward, the secret to success is to focus on the goal. Not ignoring the fear, but using the adrenaline rush to channel your energy into what needs to be done. We’ve know for years that most of the things we are anxious about never happen. Most of our problems are in our head because we fail to use our fear to take necessary action. Today we will all do scary things. It will be a lot easier if we take control of our thoughts and focus on what we want to happen—rather than what we are afraid might happen. #useyourfear #riseup #rumble #bestong #narcissist #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #enjoyyourlife #takeyourpowerback #faithoverfear #littleredsurvivor

Little Red Survivor ©2018 Cherilyn Clough

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