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Freedom From Narcissistic Abuse

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August 18, 2018August 18, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Journey From the Cave

July 23, 2018July 23, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Why You Can’t Let the Narcissist Shut You Up

June 29, 2018June 29, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Stop Telling Me I Can’t be Political and a Christian Too

June 7, 2018June 7, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Don’t Let the Narcissist Accuse You of Living in the Past

June 3, 2018June 3, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

God as Our Mother

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

If My Wounds Were Visible

May 18, 2018May 26, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narcissistic Feed

May 14, 2018May 14, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Remembering the Good, Even When it’s Bad

May 12, 2018May 12, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narcissistic Mothers vs. Loving Mothers

narcissism, narcissist, relationship, gray rock, littleredsurvivor.com

May 11, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

Narc Family Drama

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Welcome to Little Red Survivor Freedom From Narcissistic and Religious Abuse

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Cherilyn Clough

Cherilyn Clough is a Shanachie, Stargazer, Cat Whisperer and Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse. She’s writing a memoir because what happens in childhood, never stays in childhood.

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There is something wondrous about finding a treasure in the woods. As a child, I used to explore the woods around our cabin and find moss and sticks and once I naively stole a hummingbird’s nest—not one of my brighter moments. 🙄 I grew up combing the beaches of Fidalgo and Whidbey Islands collecting agates and other colored rocks along with pieces of driftwood. In the valley where I live now in Southern Oregon, I sometimes miss the beach and I rarely find anything as exciting as I did growing up. But once a scavenger, always a scavenger, so I always keep my eyes peeled. Today while we were exploring the higher hills, I found this little rock with a message from a stranger who walked that path before me. Despite all the insanity in this world, it fills my heart with warmth and joy to know there are people who try to fill the world with hope and love! It was a little treat to find and I take it as a sign. It inspires me to follow my dream to paint some rocks with love messages and set them where someone else can find them. Wouldn’t it be nice if we all left kind and hopeful messages behind us as we travel along our routes?

One time when my husband and I were newlyweds, we were driving home from a family gathering and witnessed a moment of splendor during what photographers call “the golden hour.” It was a scene with black and white cows lying in a green field with a golden and pink streaks across the horizon behind them. We both stared in awe at the surreal beauty of it all, then we looked at each other with gratitude to finally be alone and away from the narcissist and we sang all the way home. I realized that night that this would never happen with the family we had just left. Something you can’t experienced around the narcissist is joy. Joy requires gratitude. Narcissistic people can’t take time off from plotting against their enemies to enjoy the simple beauty of a sunset. At our house, we don’t waste time and energy trying to figure out what others are doing. It’s a waste of a beautiful day as far as we are concerned. If someone’s rude to us, we don’t ignore it, but we also don’t spend any time rehashing what happened. The Narcissist always tries to tell his side of the story first to win people to his side. Then he recruits them into flying monkeys to shame and scapegoat his enemy. He doesn’t know how to have a real relationship because he views people as pawns to collect and use. And he never feels he has enough pawns and never has time to stop and appreciate the positive moments because his focus is on revenge. Flocks of flying monkeys lose their sense of joy too, because there’s no joy in making jokes at another’s expense. There’s no real satisfaction in talking about someone’s faults or mistakes, but this is what the narcissist does. He monopolizes your time with his anger and revenge and sucks all the joy out of the room. If you want to experience joy, you’ll need to put as much distance between yourself and the narcissist as possible. And that includes not letting him rent space in your head. #milck #joy #hope #resistance #narcissist #freedom #resilience #surviveandthrive #narcissisticabuse #littleredsurvivor

It’s Freedom Friday, Friends! There’s a reason I rarely post religious quotes on my social media walls these days. I’m still a believer and I take my beliefs seriously, but I’ve seen people use quotes and Bible verses like weapons—either to make themselves look good or to tear down others. I’m also wary when someone accuses another person of sinning, because who can determine the motives of another person’s heart? Christians can be some of the most hate-filled people and so much evil has been done in the name of God. When my husband stopped leading worship after thirty years and took a break. He was inundated with phone calls and texts and bombarded by people who cared less about his migraines than how good they felt when he led music—even though he led many times with a migraine. When we stopped attending church, I can count on one hand the number of people who cared about us beyond his music. A few months ago, I went to the women’s tea and when my husband carried a plate of cookies inside, a women we both love, made a faces at him. He doesn’t care about her bad attitude, but I do. This guy is my life and heart! When people care more about him performing than they care about his health. I have to walk away from such a toxic environment. Walking away is one way to avoid being a victim. Whether it’s dysfunctional neighbors, family or a church, our hearts need to be around uplifting people—not judgmental, critical and abusive ones. “You are the sum total of everything you've ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it's all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that, I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.” -Maya Angelou What can you do to celebrate your freedom from the narc and give yourself positive experiences this weekend? #freedomfriday #religiousnarcia #toxicchristianity #narcissism #survivor #littleredsurvivor #celebrateGodslove.

Little Red Survivor ©2018 Cherilyn Clough

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