Nice people respect other people’s stories, but lately I’ve read several blogs where women writing about their life experiences have been trashed by their families. Recently someone brought to my attention an acquaintance who was bashing people for telling their childhood stories. It is her judgmental opinion that those who write memoir or anything about the past just need to get over it.
Today I read on one of my favorite blogs where a woman came up to the blogger in public with her family and demeaned her spiritual stories. Another so-called healing group put up a meme that said, “Sad people suck the life out of you.” Such a message gives the gospel a bad name. I’ve come to the conclusion there is nothing nastier than a self-righteous, judgmental, critical Christian.
It’s my opinion the people who say such things have no idea what they’re talking about. They are either in denial about their own issues or enjoy making themselves feel good by sitting on a throne where they can pass judgment on others. I don’t write for pseudo Christians who lack compassion and empathy for others.
I actually unfriend and block people with such critical spirits because they aren’t my audience. Until such people are willing to investigate their own spiritually abusive attitudes and become safe people, I really can’t care what they say or do. If you have such people on your friends list, I give you permission to unfriend them. Unfriending is not the same as murder. They can still send an email if they want a relationship. Like Dr. Phil says, “You can call me an SOB, but you’re gonna have to do it long distance.”
If you are blogging about memoir and have run into rude people, Dr. Brene Brown wrote a helpful book based on the Roosevelt quote about the man in the arena called Daring Greatly. It’s about ignoring the critics who sit in the bleachers in their summer whites and self-righteous attitudes judging those of us who are doing the hard work. These spectators aren’t running in the race and that’s why they find it so easy to condemn others.
Some people will always be looking for someone to criticize because they have a critical spirit. I can forgive this, but I am not obligated to hang out with unsafe people. The more we heal, the more empathy we will have for others.
So here’s to my fellow bloggers!
I will let Roosevelt have the last word–
“It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out
how the strong man stumbles,
or where the doer of deeds
could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man
who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs,
who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort
without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds;
who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end
the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be
with those cold and timid souls
who neither know victory nor defeat.”