Are you having trouble finding the joy this season due to lack of love in your narcissistic family? Make some new traditions with people who respond in love. Try doing some random acts of kindness and cookie bombing. Call it karma, intrinsic law or the circle of life, but life was designed for us to give in order to live.
Giving is a natural law like gravity is a natural law. Such laws are not arbitrary or forced, but in reality, just the way the universe works. Trees give us oxygen and we give carbon dioxide back to the trees. Rain becomes snow and melts into rivers and flows to the ocean where it completes the cycle and returns to the clouds. Autumn leaves give life to the soil and contribute to life in the spring. Electricity and even the blood in our bodies run in a circuit.
We were all created to give. That’s why the life of a Narc grows so stagnant because they think in terms of taking without giving back. The natural illustration of the Narc’s pattern is the DEAD sea. Narcissism disrupts the life-giving cycle because for those who desire narcissistic feed, giving only goes one way.
There are many ways to give—encouragement, love, support, acceptance, unconditional love—all of these are free. It’s easy to get discouraged about giving when the people you love (and who you thought loved you) have been taking from you without giving, but don’t give in to the Narc’s patterns–give whatever you can and live–just don’t contribute to the dysfunctional cycle by providing narcissistic feed.
There will always be some people who misunderstand the debilitating nature of serving a narcissist and they will tell you Jesus says to love our enemies. Yes, love for our enemies can be manifested in different ways and in the case of the Narc it is best to let him go. Even God lets people go. When the crowd wanted to crown Jesus king because He gave them food, He disappeared from their sight instead of feeding them every day. Giving too much creates dysfunctional relationships.
When we give to those who are not expecting it, we experience joy. This is what Christmas is about–giving freely in love for those who will appreciate it. So your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to go out cookie bombing.
What You Need:
- A few extra dollars for the drive through
- The ingredients and ability to make cookies
- Curly ribbon and party bags
- Your favorite Christmas tunes
- Follow the recipe below to make some bright and fun cookies.
- Let the cookies dry thoroughly. It might be best to make them the day before the bombing.
- Fill party bags with cookies, tie with curly ribbon and crank up the tunes and head out to cookie bomb.
- Start at your favorite drive through and give away a couple bags of cookies to the cashier while paying for the drinks for the people in the car behind you.
- Enjoy your drink and head out to your friends’ houses to cookie bomb. Make sure you bomb as many people as you meet along the way–especially strangers! Whether they are a homeless, young or old, rich or poor, working or playing–just give them a bag of cookies and let the joy begin.
SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE
2 sticks butter or margarine
2 C sugar
2 tsp vanilla
4 C flour (sifted)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp pumpkin spice (optional)
PREHEAT: oven to 350
BEAT: butter and sugar in mixer until creamy
ADD: egg and vanilla and beat until smooth
STIR: flour, baking powder and salt in separate container
ADD: flour mixture gradually to butter/sugar mixture
ROLL: dough into a ball and wrap with wax paper
CHILL: dough in fridge for one hour or overnight
ROLL: out dough and form into cookies
BAKE: for 10-12 minutes or until very slightly brown—Do NOT overbake—some smaller cookies may only take nine minutes
1 lb confectioner’s sugar
5 T meringue powder
Scant 1/2 C water
Wilton food coloring pastes of choice
BEAT: all icing ingredients with the paddle in an electric mixer until mixed—don’t over mix or it will cause bubbles in the icing
SPREAD: immediately on cooled cookies with icing spreader or store in an airtight container
You can get squeeze bottles for the icing at a craft store to flood the cookies. Just make sure the first layer dries before adding the second.
Give, and it will be given to you.
A good measure, pressed down,
shaken together and running over,
will be poured into your lap.
For with the measure you use,
it will be measured to you.
-Jesus (Luke 6:38)
*ACoNs-Adult Children of Narcissists
Enjoy this Christmas song by one of my favorite groups Pentatonix :