You Might Have Been Raised by a Narcissist

10 Jan

You Might Have Been Raised by a Narcissist If:

  • You grew up with parents who put their needs above yours
  • You had to clean the house so your parents could come home to a clean one
  • You’ve been lying to bill collectors since you were five
  • You grew up without knowing your relatives because your parent didn’t like them
  • You grew up with flying monkeys and know how to read them
  • You were neglected by parents who ignored your needs
  • You have night terrors about moving again
  • You’ve worn out the carpet walking on eggshells
  • You were told to keep the family secrets from the church, cops and neighbors
  • You dreamed of having friends and not moving, but it never happened
  • You know how to pack up a kitchen in half an hour
  • You know what it means to be on silence and frozen statue
  • You have CPTSD whenever you walk near the belt section in a department store
  • You had to get up and make coffee for your parents before they got out of bed
  • You’ve incurred your parent’s wrath because the car wouldn’t start
  • You earned money, but your parents spent it
  • You grew up thinking white lies were “good” lies
  • You felt guilty and sorry for being born
  • You have a parent who never apologizes
  • You’ve been fired because you can’t stop apologizing
  • You still have a parent who lies about you
  • You are the black sheep—the one who got away
  • You got your self-worth from pleasing your parent
  • You have been called mentally ill because you don’t agree your parent
  • You were smothered by a controlling parent who treated you like a spouse
  • You’ve grown up acting like a doormat
  • You felt your parent’s pain before your own
  • You aren’t sure who you are because you’ve been focused on your parent’s needs
  • You’ve been scapegoated so many times people treat you like satan
  • You have a parent with no conscience
  • You were raised with one rule in your house–power by belt
  • You’ve been called selfish for spending your own money
  • You have a high level of empathy for your apathetic parent
  • You have a parent who takes no responsibility for their own mistakes, but blames you
  • You’ve worried you might be a narcissist
Game She Could Never Win, cherilynclough.com LittleRedSurvivor.com

Prints Available Here

If any of these are true, there is a cause for concern, but if more than half are true, you most definitely were raised by a narcissist. The truth is painful at first, but the truth will also set your free. The important thing to note is you are not alone. There are empathetic people all around you who understand what you went through because they went through it too.

When you discover the truth and reach out to other ACoNs*, you will begin to thrive. It’s okay to admit you were raised by a narc because this is not your identity–it’s the narc’s. You are an empathetic person who longs for integrity and healthy relationships. If you’ve already left home, you no longer need to be controlled by the narc.

Find ways to celebrate your freedom. You deserve peace and joy–acknowledge your stories, but in the words of a wise man:

Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today.
-Will Rogers

 

What about you?
What made you realize you were raised by a narcissist?

*ACoN–Adult Children of Narcissists

2 Responses to “You Might Have Been Raised by a Narcissist”

  1. DCoffeen January 10, 2016 at 7:38 pm #

    Here are some others to add:

    You are made responsible for your parent’s depression, anxiety, etc. by questioning things.

    You are expected to support and enable addictions, dysfunction, emotional instability or you are not a good son/daughter.

    The children who survive are often the pleasers who have no opinions they will state.

    Religion is used to keep you in line.

    “Why can’t you be like—–?” is told to you frequently.

    You are accused of constantly rocking the boat when it comes to keeping things peaceful because of your sinful, stubborn, and rebellious nature.

    You must believe what your parents believe, to the detail.

    You are the cause of your parent’s illness, exhaustion, etc. because you don’t fall in line.

    You are not allowed to believe your reality if it conflicts with their fantasy or denial.

    You are told what to remember and what to forget.

    Any undeniable emotional dysfunction is blamed on poor genetics or original sin so that those who are mentally ill are considered defective.

    You must present yourself and your family as the ideal family.

    Becoming an individuating adult at the time of adulthood is not allowed.

    Anytime you have your own opinion, you are “lost”.

  2. Cherilyn Clough January 10, 2016 at 8:24 pm #

    Thank you Donna! Great additions to the list! I figured the list I put out there was more like a starter list. I really appreciate all of your support and suggestions! Hugs to you! ❤

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