Most of us are familiar with the Polish proverb, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” If only we could reverse these monkeys and send the flying monkeys back with a message to the narc. Can you imagine how much healthier our families would be? I know, it’s a fantasy, but we all need a good fantasy every once in a while. This post could go on forever because we all know the list of lies put out by the narc is a bottomless pit, but I’ll just reverse five things flying monkeys use to shame us.
CAUTION: Read this fantasy at your own risk. Don’t allow hope to suck away the reality that the narc or flying monkeys rarely change. Keep your logic hat on.
1. Flying Monkey Stupid Question #1: “Why do you always have to remember the past?
Oh if only I had mocha for every time a flying monkey said this. For starters, who doesn’t remember the past? This flying monkey knows they remember the past and we all know the narc’s memory is selective. The narc hasn’t forgotten the past because he has a long list of people he wants to get even with, so why all this fuss about remembering?
It’s not remembering the past that’s the problem for the narc, it’s remembering the past and acknowledging it. It’s remembering that exact point on the glass where we were cut last time. It’s saying that since I remember the past, I don’t wish to repeat the past. But the narc doesn’t want me to remember where he stabbed me in the back, because if I remember it will never happen again.
My question for the flying monkey is do you really want me to forget the past? ‘Cause that would make it much more difficult for me to remember things like how to drive and I would definitely forget your birthday. Maybe you should fly back to the narc and give him this message:
“Why don’t you forget the past? Why don’t you stop holding it against your designated scapegoat for not playing along with all your dirty little games?”
2. Flying Monkey Stupid Question #2: “Why do you have to break up the family by skipping the family drama–er dinner?”
Ha! As if not attending one dinner could wreck an entire dynasty and possibly end civilization as we know it. I’d love to tie a little note to the clutches of this flying monkey and send him back with:
“Hey Narc, your lies and triangulating have literally sucked the joy out of our family gatherings. So why don’t you stop the drama and let everyone be themselves? Then maybe family members will want to hang out with you again.”
3. Flying Monkey Stupid Question #3: “The narc’s never gonna change, so why don’t you just forgive and forget?”
Hmmn… Nearly everything that stinks needs changing like garbage and diapers. Personally I can’t think of anything that stinks more than narcissism. It tears down the family through lies and division. The main problem with the narc is it’s always gotta be his way or the highway. I’d decorate this flying monkey with old diapers for brown nosing and maybe give him a flat tire and see how far he goes before deciding change is necessary. Oh! And I’d send this message back to the narc:
“The reason people are avoiding you oh great narc is because you refuse to change. All relationships come up for renegotiation. Like an old fish rotting in the sink, people have lost all taste for your control freaking ways and hostile attempts to divide and conquer. Why don’t you change? Why don’t you play the game of forgive and forget?
4. Flying Monkey Stupid Question #4: What Would Jesus Do?
A few flying monkey spies just fell off their seats when they read this. Sorry monkey friends, but it’s a stupid question if it relates to narcissistic abuse because Jesus never advocated that we become doormats. Most flying monkeys can be brushed off with a fly swatter, but there is no flying monkey like the monkey sent from the throne of Religious Narcia. The aura of oppression they wield while they try to shame you with your ultimate hope–your faith in God–is unconscionable. And all because they like ring of that little mantra “What would Jesus do?”
What Jesus would do is support freedom. Jesus never stands with liars and abusers. He does not support narcissistic abuse and never uses such tactics himself. I’d send this spiritually manipulative flying monkey back as soon as he opens his mouth—with a message to smash all the false kingdoms in Religious Narcia.
“Hey narc, let’s just forget what Jesus would do and let’s remember what Jesus did. Jesus said, “Who are my mother and my brothers? He who does the will of my father.” If you aren’t doing the will of the Father, then get off my back.”
5. Flying Monkey Stupid Question #5: What if the Narc Dies?
Many flying monkey discussions end with the ultimate countdown–the final countdown in all of our lives when he says: “Well you never know how long the narc will live, so why not try to get along with them.”
What does this flying monkey even mean? Does he think we should allow ourselves to be abuse by the narc because he has a shorter life expectancy than other people? The fact is we don’t know how long any of us will live. Car accidents steal young lives every day.
My message is not intended to make light of how short life is–but rather BECAUSE life is short. If only all these flying monkey suggestions worked, if only it were that easy to reverse all the damage done by the narc to others by hanging out with the narc. Sadly, when we are in a relationship with a narc it’s like they are already dead–not because we wish it–-heaven knows how much we love them and have cried over the narc, but because life is short and hanging out with the narc could make our lives even shorter.
It’s a solemn message to send back, but it’s the truth and it must be said:
“I don’t know how long I will live. None of us do. Since we don’t know this, why do you assume others should tiptoe around you Narc? Why not make things right with your children before they or you die? And If you really want a relationship, why not put some love and kindness into it? Shame and guilt don’t work on me anymore.”
Well, that was nice fantasy while it lasted, but the mountains are calling and I must go! Hopefully this worked like flying monkey repellent, cause modern science still hasn’t found a cure for the narc or his flying monkeys. But you will be ok because you know how to recognize a flying monkey and you won’t let the narc steal your joy.
Please feel free to add your own fantasies in the comment section.