I’ll never forget the day I realized the narcissist
had nothing to say to me unless I gave him money.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
It really hurt because as an empath, I care about people and it made me feel sick to realize I was being used. I never saw it that way, I felt responsible for my family members. I heard many sad stories and felt like whatever I had was theirs too. Between the guilt of not giving enough to the church and my family, I barely had enough left to pay my own bills.
What a relief to discover the meaning of narcissistic feed. Narcissistic Feed can be many things, but money is at the top of the list. Shannon Thomas has written another book to help us wade through all the embarrassment and pain that comes with being used by someone we love.
Exposing Financial Abuse: When Money is a Weapon
Author: Shannon Thomas, LCSW
Publisher: MAST Publishing House
Publication Date: June 26, 2018
Length: 225 pages
Many survivors of narcissistic abuse have been pressured to give their money to the narcissist. This could be kids told to give their money to their parents to a messy divorce where one party refuses to spit the assets of the marriage. If you’ve been in any of these situations or know someone going through this right now, you might want to buy this book.
Exposing Financial Abuse is a helpful guide revealing the ways abusers exhort, threaten, steal and withhold money from the people they were supposed to love. It’s sad such a book needs to be written, but given the multitude of people who have endured narcissistic and hidden abuse, such a handbook is essential for people to recover their losses.
Although finances are a large part of the loss, victims of financial abuse also lose dignity and self-worth as well as money. If the injury was merely economic, they could hand their concerns over to lawyers, but because of the psychological damage, survivors need a book like this to recover emotionally in the hope of it not happening again.
Most people are embarrassed to talk about their financial struggles with other people, but there’s an additional level of shame attached to being used, stolen from, or not being able to provide for yourself when you’ve been neglected and mistreated from a parent or a spouse. For those too shy to talk about their pain, this book offers tools to discuss their financial abuse with other people.
Because of the covert nature of financial abuse, it’s important for people to realize what happened to them actually is abuse. I was surprised to discover there are other aspects of financial harm I hadn’t recognized before. One form of financial abuse is a when a church shames people for not turning in tithe and offerings when they barely have enough money to take care of their children.
This book covers the progression of financial abuse, where each chapter includes a tactic used by narcissistic people to steal from others, but it eventually leads us to a path of healing. This book is a useful primer for anyone confused about what financial exploitation is and how to escape it. I think it could’ve covered a little more in-depth about the recovery process, but there are many books about investing in the stock market, saving up for retirement and getting out of debt. This book is about how to survive the emotional trauma of financial abuse.
Shannon Thomas is a counselor who is also a survivor, who has an edge in understanding both the emotional stress of dealing with a perpetrator and the concepts to help a person recover. The focus of this book is not about getting revenge or suing the abuser but finding a healthier and secure future.
What I like about this book is how the author used a lot of real-life stories from people who’ve been mistreated financially. It reminds us we are not alone, that we didn’t imagine the abuse and how we can become free from those who wish to manipulate us. It teaches us to heal from the losses to find a better life.
Note: I received an Advance Reader Copy of the book from the publisher.
You can find the book here.