Writing Memoir–Why I Can’t Keep Quiet

When I was eight and my family suddenly left the house we lived in to sleep in a tent at an abandoned sawmill, I had no idea what was going on. To this day, my parents have never told me what happened. What I do know is that we never went back to that house. …

Flying Monkeys or Walking on Hot Lava–Which do You Prefer?

Well friends, I wish every blog I write could be as beautiful and encouraging as the last one, but I guess we don’t get to live on the mountaintop very often since most of us are dealing with all the narcissistic smog in the valley below. As an Enneagram seven, I’m not fond of sad …

Encounter at Grouse Gap

Today I decided that roasted marshmallows taste like manna. It's interesting how we sometimes get a chance to revisit our lives in full circle moments. Sometimes they’re good experiences and other times they can be triggering. Today I had a beautiful moment that could only be orchestrated by the benevolent heart of the Universe. I …

Five Ingredients for a Narcissist-Free Relationship

Jessie grew up with a narcissistic father, then she found a man who acted a lot like her dad because that is what felt comfortable to her despite the abusive patterns. By the time she discovered what narcissism is, she was with husband number two and sick to her stomach to discover she had married …

When Father’s Day is Complicated

My relationship with my father has been complicated. Many people who read these pages might assume he is the narcissist who set my soul on fire to write this blog, but it was actually a different narcissistic personality in the family who triggered me into remembering my childhood and facing the way I was treated …

The Father Who Calls You Beloved

Father's Day cards often fail to demonstrate the dark side of fatherhood. No father ever opens up a card to read, “Thank you for leaving me when I was two.” No woman writes a love letter to her father for stealing her innocence. Card commercials portray fathers reading stories to their kids and serving ice …

Three Ways to Disable Flying Monkeys

Who doesn’t like a monkey–unless it’s a flying monkey. I don’t know about you, but I love to go to the zoo and I could watch the monkeys for hours. Monkeys see and monkeys do. They love to imitate and respond to facial expressions. A few years ago, one of my nephews went to a …

The Curse of Invisible Wounds

June First is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day Awhile back my friend Joe asked, “Why there are so many pages and groups on social media about narcissism?” He gasp when he said it as though he’d just discovered a tunnel to the dark side in his own backyard. “There are literally thousands of people who claim to …

Ain’t Gonna Study War No More

War. Without it most of us wouldn't be here because we are the descendants of the survivors. This never became clearer to me than when I researched my family tree on ancestry.com. Eight super great grandfathers who fought in the Revolutionary War and several more who fought in the Civil War. I am proud of …

Four Freedoms after Narcissistic Abuse

Mica was a goldfish that lived in a glass bowl. He lived most of his life bumping into a glass divider which kept him from crossing to the other side of the bowl. One day the divider was removed, but Mica swam in the same pattern as before never crossing the bowl. This is because …