Four Freedoms after Narcissistic Abuse

Mica was a goldfish that lived in a glass bowl. He lived most of his life bumping into a glass divider which kept him from crossing to the other side of the bowl. One day the divider was removed, but Mica swam in the same pattern as before never crossing the bowl. This is because …

Mothers of the Lie

Many people of narcissistic mothers meet and share a similar anxiety and shame, yet when they compare notes,  they are surprised to discover  their mothers are so different. This is because they don’t realize there is more than one type of narcissistic mother.  In his book, “The People of the Lie,” M. Scott Peck talks about …

Imagine There’s No Haters

Most controlling parents seem unaware of how much their expectations and punishments suck the life out of their children long after they leave home. I still occasionally feel guilty whenever I cut my hair, eat certain foods or befriend people I know my parents would disapprove of while I was growing up, but I don't …

Be a One Woman Riot

When I was a kid, if my siblings and I argued or made too much noise, we were put on silence. Silence meant we were not allowed to speak or make any noise. If we found a way to communicate through spelling letters through sign language or motioning, we might even be put on frozen …

Don’t Shut Up, Your Voice Matters

Well Friends, I have been dumbfounded. I haven’t been sure what to write about lately because there is just so much sad news, I can hardly bear to write about it. When you grow up with oppression and live in fear of a belt and are refused an education, your hope turns to the government and church—people …

Women’s March of Freedom

Five million women marched in unprecedented numbers all around the world during the Women's March. It was the largest Women's March ever, but a few Christian women claimed they have all they need and criticized those who marched and supported it. Some of them shared a copied status floating through social media claiming they were in charge …

Celebrate Only in Freedom

This is the time of year we hear lots of quotes and comments about being grateful. Sometimes we even read or hear admonitions to be grateful for what we have and for those of us who have fractured families, it can feel like a slap in the face. Such messages usually come from superficial friends …

How to Survive Spiritual Abuse

In my early twenties, I was part of a Christian music ministry and for nine months we sang at a different church every night. We were told to respect the authority of our leaders because they were set in place by God. One day at training camp, I was slapped in the face for leaving a three hour meeting …

Women Pastors and Corporate Abuse in the Church

I've been in mourning these last few weeks. Not over a person--but over a church. Specifically the church I grew up in. The church that has been a spiritual home at least in name to six generations of my family. Yet even though I say six generations of family, my childhood home was far different …

The Spirit of the Lord is Freedom

This blog is about freedom from narcissism and religious abuse. Today I am going to write about the deep sadness in my heart over the church I grew up in and the growing threat to religious liberty. Ted Wilson, the world president of the Seventh day Adventist church is on a witch hunt. Of course …