Why You Can’t Let the Narcissist Shut You Up

As soon as you start to tell the truth about what happened to you, it seems like the entire universe starts to work against you. But if you pay close attention, it’s not the universe; it’s the narcissist. It just seems like the universe because she keeps recruiting more and more flying monkeys to attack you. Remember... Continue Reading →

Don’t Let the Narcissist Accuse You of Living in the Past

Arianne has been accused of living in the past because she can’t reconcile with her family of origin. It all started when she began to remember why she has extreme anxiety and panic attacks. She had to face her past because there was a time when she was forced by her mother to ignore the... Continue Reading →

Why Narcissistic Hoovering Sucks

Hayley left Joe six months ago. For the first time since she met him, she was finally free. Free of his criticism, free of his control, free of his cheating and free of his lies. She hadn’t met anyone new, but she was loving her freedom. She rarely thought of Joe and had zero interest... Continue Reading →

Mothers of the Lie

Many people of narcissistic mothers meet and share a similar anxiety and shame, yet when they compare notes,  they are surprised to discover  their mothers are so different. This is because they don’t realize there is more than one type of narcissistic mother.   In his book, “The People of the Lie,” M. Scott Peck talks... Continue Reading →

A One Woman Riot

When I was a kid, if my siblings and I argued or made too much noise, we were put on silence. Silence meant we were not allowed to speak or make any noise. If we found a way to communicate through spelling letters through sign language or motioning, we might even be put on frozen... Continue Reading →

It’s Not You, It’s the Narc

When Allie met Josh, he told her she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met and Allie believed him. For the first time in her life she felt appreciated, but her joy didn't last very long. As an ACoN* growing up with a negligent Narc father who barely noticed her, she thought she'd finally... Continue Reading →

Why Gray Rock Beats Paper

At the last family dinner there was a big blow up. When Ann got home, she pulled out a piece of paper to write her mother a letter, but what she didn't realize is that gray rock always beats paper. Even though she poured out her heart on paper, Ann got no response--not a phone call,... Continue Reading →

If You Give a Narc an Apology

If you give a Narc an apology, he'll want some groveling to go with it.  He’ll say you owe him and ask you to pick up the pieces for all the messes he’s made. When you refuse to pick up his messes, he will accuse you of things you've never done. You’ll try to set the record straight,... Continue Reading →

Narcissistic Word Salad

When I was a kid we used to sing "the salad song." It was a song made up of random phrases from several songs strung together. If you start a song and someone else wanted to sing the salad song, you could end up singing a different song altogether because once the salad song gets... Continue Reading →

My Child, My Mirror

When many people hear the word narcissism, they think of the legend of Narcissus who was so vain he worshiped his image in a pond until he fell in and drowned. I once saw a cartoon of a father staring at his own reflection in a lake while his daughter kept calling out, "Daddy?!" The... Continue Reading →

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