Friends are the Family We Choose

Sometimes a childhood friend can be an informed witness to our past. In a world where the narcissist wants to control us and flying monkeys often betray us, it's important to remember that  the title of family can extend to those who are willing to show up in our lives.  Never underestimate the power of love between …

How to Deal With Narcissistic Hate-Mail

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a flying monkey or a narcissist, you’ve probably received some hate-mail, but just in case you haven’t, allow me to tell you what it's like so you can be prepared when it happens. It might start out with some of your least favorite things and a long list …

Memoir Monday–Angry Relatives

Today’s blog is not a pretty picture blog because I am going to share some of the ugly reality about writing a memoir and dealing with angry relatives. If this is not your mug of mocha, please excuse this and know I will try to write about blue skies and fluffy koalas in the future, …

Five Ingredients for a Narcissist-Free Relationship

Jessie grew up with a narcissistic father, then she found a man who acted a lot like her dad because that is what felt comfortable to her despite the abusive patterns. By the time she discovered what narcissism is, she was with husband number two and sick to her stomach to discover she had married …

The Father Who Calls You Beloved

Father's Day cards often fail to demonstrate the dark side of fatherhood. No father ever opens up a card to read, “Thank you for leaving me when I was two.” No woman writes a love letter to her father for stealing her innocence. Card commercials portray fathers reading stories to their kids and serving ice …

Anne With an E – A Richer Flavor of Avonlea

Who doesn’t love Anne of Green Gables? For most kindred spirits, that’s like asking who doesn’t love raspberry cordial.  Well, I binge-watched the new version titled, “Anne with an E” on Netflix this weekend and my biggest problem with it was that there was just not enough of it. As a loyal fan of L.M. …

3. Nana’s Garden

In celebration of Mother's Day, I am sharing some excerpts from my upcoming memoir--sort of a memoir within a memoir about my paternal grandmother. You can the first two parts here: 1. Nana's Hands 2. Nana and the Heritage Singers A whole year had passed since we'd left our home to camp on that dark night and it had been …

2. Nana and the Heritage Singers

In celebration of Mother's Day, I am sharing some excerpts from my upcoming memoir--sort of a memoir within a memoir about my paternal grandmother. You can read part one here: 1. Nana's Hands If you’d told me we were going to move to an Island where daddy would chop down the alder and fir trees, scrape …

Mothers of the Lie

Many people of narcissistic mothers meet and share a similar anxiety and shame, yet when they compare notes,  they are surprised to discover  their mothers are so different. This is because they don’t realize there is more than one type of narcissistic mother.  In his book, “The People of the Lie,” M. Scott Peck talks about …

Just Say No to Bullies

The other day I heard from a young mother who told me about a bullying problem at a Christian school. Her child kept coming home hurt from a bully’s rude comments and hitting. She encouraged her child to stand tall in dignity, look the bully in the eye and ask, "Why are you hitting me?" …