Five Ingredients for a Narcissist-Free Relationship

Jessie grew up with a narcissistic father, then she found a man who acted a lot like her dad because that is what felt comfortable to her despite the abusive patterns. By the time she discovered what narcissism is, she was with husband number two and sick to her stomach to discover she had married …

The Father Who Calls You Beloved

Father's Day cards often fail to demonstrate the dark side of fatherhood. No father ever opens up a card to read, “Thank you for leaving me when I was two.” No woman writes a love letter to her father for stealing her innocence. Card commercials portray fathers reading stories to their kids and serving ice …

Anne With an E – A Richer Flavor of Avonlea

Who doesn’t love Anne of Green Gables? For most kindred spirits, that’s like asking who doesn’t love raspberry cordial.  Well, I binge-watched the new version titled, “Anne with an E” on Netflix this weekend and my biggest problem with it was that there was just not enough of it. As a loyal fan of L.M. …

3. Nana’s Garden

In celebration of Mother's Day, I am sharing some excerpts from my upcoming memoir--sort of a memoir within a memoir about my paternal grandmother. You can the first two parts here: 1. Nana's Hands 2. Nana and the Heritage Singers A whole year had passed since we'd left our home to camp on that dark night and it had been …

2. Nana and the Heritage Singers

In celebration of Mother's Day, I am sharing some excerpts from my upcoming memoir--sort of a memoir within a memoir about my paternal grandmother. You can read part one here: 1. Nana's Hands If you’d told me we were going to move to an Island where daddy would chop down the alder and fir trees, scrape …

Mothers of the Lie

Many people of narcissistic mothers meet and share a similar anxiety and shame, yet when they compare notes,  they are surprised to discover  their mothers are so different. This is because they don’t realize there is more than one type of narcissistic mother.  In his book, “The People of the Lie,” M. Scott Peck talks about …

Just Say No to Bullies

The other day I heard from a young mother who told me about a bullying problem at a Christian school. Her child kept coming home hurt from a bully’s rude comments and hitting. She encouraged her child to stand tall in dignity, look the bully in the eye and ask, "Why are you hitting me?" …

Don’t Let the Narc Mess With Your Heart

Think about all the lies, the put downs and the gaslighting. All the times you tried to explain your heart to someone who was committed to misunderstanding it. All the times your empathetic heart was used by the Narcissist, who said it was your own fault. All the times the Narcissist stepped on your heart, …

How to Know When It’s NOT Your Fault

When I was five years old, I was standing outside the swimming pool when my mother asked me to watch my one year old brother while she went inside to get my new born sister who was crying. I watched my brother faithfully. I watched him flip over on his little paddle board. I watched …

Independence Day Again

Do you have an independence day? No, I'm not talking about a national holiday, but the day you were set free because you realized a relationship with someone you loved was not going to work any more? It seems we have many independence days along this journey from narcissism. Sometimes we have to get up and declare our independence just to get out of bed …