Forgive or Forget?

No one likes a grudge holder. The old phrase, "Forgive and forget" has been used to insinuate we haven't forgiven  if we haven't forgotten, but that's not always true. While forgetting seems like a beautiful concept in theory, it can only happen healthfully when an abuser acknowledges what they have done. Consider some situations where... Continue Reading →

How Forgiveness Could Set You Free

Forgiveness is often a controversial subject among survivors, and while I don't think anyone can tell another when to forgive, forgiveness is not always what we've thought it was. Here is a guest blog by my dear friend Amelia Ponder who is both a survivor and a therapist. A quote from Google: Psychologists generally define forgiveness... Continue Reading →

Walking Away with Jesus

They were walking away. Done. The church as they knew it had let them down and now after the events of the weekend, they were through. It was hard to accept, and at first, it had been difficult to imagine, but now that Jesus was dead, they had no choice but to walk away. With... Continue Reading →

Dark Sabbath

Were your plans and dreams ever destroyed by a single event? I wonder how it felt to the friends of Jesus the day after he died. It sounds weird to say, "Jesus is dead."  But for one day that was reality. Friday was a dark day and the world’s profound grief must’ve been palpable, but... Continue Reading →

Losing Religion to Find the Way

"It's all very delicate, your fragile house of lies, it could collapse at any moment." -Sarah, The Path  The Path is a TV show on Hulu about a cult which has some strong comparisons to Christianity. The followers of “The Path” believe they are choosing a higher existence and each person is ascending a ladder... Continue Reading →

How Male Headship Feeds Narcissism

Jim believes God ordained him as the male leader to control his family. He's married to a woman who had children before they were together and it's been a struggle for him to allow them to be themselves. He feels it's his religious duty to police them. His efforts include locking the kitchen after bedtime in case the... Continue Reading →

Me too, Church too and Time’s Up

Yesterday, I listened to a survivor tell her story. She was molested in her childhood. Her pain was palpable. I wanted to beat up the man who originally abused her and all the well-meaning Christians who further abused her by invalidating her story. Then I read a blog by a Christian woman who added her... Continue Reading →

Christmas and the Religious Narcissist

Religious Narcia rears its ugly sweater at Christmas because nothing excites a narcissist more than telling strangers how to live their lives. It’s the time of year when religious abuse runs on a high. There are all brands of crazy that go on when the days are darker and people are desperate to make it to the... Continue Reading →

Imagine There’s No Haters

During my growing up years, my parents never allowed me to listen to "worldly" music. When I caught strains of songs like, "Happy Xmas, the War is Over" and "Imagine," at the mall or in the grocery store, I was mesmerized by Lennon’s genius words and music about people and love. To this people loving... Continue Reading →

5 Reasons You Should Watch the Shack

Isn't The Shack just a made up story? Yes. Is it even based on biblical facts? Yes, in some ways, but I like to think of it as an allegory. Pilgrim's Progress wasn't a true story either. But wait, God is a man and not a woman, right? Well, who of us has seen God? These... Continue Reading →

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