Religious Narcia

Four Freedoms after Narcissistic Abuse

Mica was a goldfish that lived in a glass bowl. He lived most of his life bumping into a glass divider which kept him from crossing to the other side of the bowl. One day the divider was removed, but Mica swam in the same pattern as before never crossing the bowl. This is because… Continue reading Four Freedoms after Narcissistic Abuse

Non-Violence, Relationship, Religious Narcia

Just Say No to Bullies

The other day I heard from a young mother who told me about a bullying problem at a Christian school. Her child kept coming home hurt from a bully’s rude comments and hitting. She encouraged her child to stand tall in dignity, look the bully in the eye and ask, "Why are you hitting me?"… Continue reading Just Say No to Bullies

Religious Narcia

Imagine There’s No Haters

Most controlling parents seem unaware of how much their expectations and punishments suck the life out of their children long after they leave home. I still occasionally feel guilty whenever I cut my hair, eat certain foods or befriend people I know my parents would disapprove of while I was growing up, but I don't… Continue reading Imagine There’s No Haters

Religious Narcia

Don’t Let the Narcissist Define You

One of the most damaging things that happens to ACoNs is when the narcissistic parent tries to define them. The narc will try to define you to yourself, friends and other family members. This is part of the gaslighting treatment and we must diligently refuse to allow such lies to influence us. Let fools and flying monkeys… Continue reading Don’t Let the Narcissist Define You

Religious Narcia

The Spirit of the Lord is Freedom

This blog is about freedom from narcissism and religious abuse. Today I am going to write about the deep sadness in my heart over the church I grew up in and the growing threat to religious liberty. Ted Wilson, the world president of the Seventh day Adventist church is on a witch hunt. Of course… Continue reading The Spirit of the Lord is Freedom

Non-Violence, Relationship, Religious Narcia

To Spank or Not to Spank?

One of the biggest reasons I struggle with my parents is because they still feel they have the right to tell me what to do–what kind of music to listen to, how to vote, how to spend my money and how to worship God. For the first twenty years of my life, their will was… Continue reading To Spank or Not to Spank?

Religious Narcia, Truth

How to Talk to a Flying Monkey

Most of us are familiar with the Polish proverb, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” If only we could reverse these monkeys and send the flying monkeys back with a message to the narc. Can you imagine how much healthier our families would be? I know, it's a fantasy, but we all need a good… Continue reading How to Talk to a Flying Monkey

Religious Narcia

Why You Should Listen to Your Heart

If you grew up with narcissistic parents, you might have spent years pleasing them—only to discover you haven’t listened to your own heart. Narcissistic parents want to see their own reflection in their child, so they impose their standards on them. The ACoN* wants their parent's love so they listen to the narc's heart instead of listening… Continue reading Why You Should Listen to Your Heart

Religious Narcia

Free to Tell Your Story

For the first decade after Beth left home, she and her siblings didn’t speak about certain events in their childhood. Their family rules included never talking about the past and never talking about what happened unless the person you were talking about was there. Beth and her siblings tried to cope with their CPTSD alone—until… Continue reading Free to Tell Your Story

Community, Religious Narcia

Good Girls Get Angry

While I was growing up, I was taught never to show my anger. My parents didn't allow children to throw tantrums, so I watched my younger siblings being beaten with a belt over and over until their wills were broken. I believe this happened to me too, because for most of my life, I have been unable to access my… Continue reading Good Girls Get Angry