Jim believes God ordained him as the male leader to control his family. He's married to a woman who had children before they were together and it's been a struggle for him to allow them to be themselves. He feels it's his religious duty to police them. His efforts include locking the kitchen after bedtime in case the… Continue reading Male Headship 1—How it Feeds Narcissism
Yesterday, I listened to a survivor tell her story. She was molested in her childhood. Her pain was palpable. I wanted to beat up the man who originally abused her and all the well-meaning Christians who further abused her by invalidating her story. Then I read a blog by a Christian woman who added her… Continue reading Me too, Church too and Time’s Up
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. That about sums up 2017. Of course there can still be more worse times and we all hope for better times in 2018, so even though the year is ending, the book is never closed on how bad or how good things can… Continue reading The Worst of Times or the Best of Times?
Religious Narcia rears its ugly sweater at Christmas because nothing excites a narcissist more than telling strangers how to live their lives. It's the time of year when religious abuse runs on a high. There are all brands of crazy that go on when the days are darker and people are desperate to make it to the end of… Continue reading Christmas and the Religious Narcissist
Mica was a goldfish that lived in a glass bowl. He lived most of his life bumping into a glass divider which kept him from crossing to the other side of the bowl. One day the divider was removed, but Mica swam in the same pattern as before never crossing the bowl. This is because… Continue reading Four Freedoms after Narcissistic Abuse
The other day I heard from a young mother who told me about a bullying problem at a Christian school. Her child kept coming home hurt from a bully’s rude comments and hitting. She encouraged her child to stand tall in dignity, look the bully in the eye and ask, "Why are you hitting me?"… Continue reading Just Say No to Bullies
Most controlling parents seem unaware of how much their expectations and punishments suck the life out of their children long after they leave home. I still occasionally feel guilty whenever I cut my hair, eat certain foods or befriend people I know my parents would disapprove of while I was growing up, but I don't… Continue reading Imagine There’s No Haters
One of the worst things a narcissist tries to do is label you. She/he might try to define you to yourself, your friends and family members. This is part of the gaslighting treatment and while the only person you have any control over is yourself, you must diligently refute such lies. When I was a young adult, I… Continue reading Don’t Let the Narcissist Define You
This blog is about freedom from narcissism and religious abuse. Today I am going to write about the deep sadness in my heart over the church I grew up in and the growing threat to religious liberty. Ted Wilson, the world president of the Seventh day Adventist church is on a witch hunt. Of course… Continue reading The Spirit of the Lord is Freedom
One of the biggest reasons I struggle with my parents is because they still feel they have the right to tell me what to do–what kind of music to listen to, how to vote, how to spend my money and how to worship God. For the first twenty years of my life, their will was… Continue reading To Spank or Not to Spank?