Wake Up Wednesday–Moving Beyond the Dysfunctional Family Circus

Wake up calls are not always negative, sometimes they can be positive. Beth wrote me last week to describe how she had grown up being criticized, false accused and often verbally attacked by her family members. It took leaving home and going away to college for her to realize she wasn't the problem after all. …

Five Ways to Promote Healing After Narcissistic Abuse

There’s a story about a mother who always cut the loaf off at both ends every time she made it for dinner. Her daughter kept up the tradition and eventually her granddaughter did it too. Then one day the granddaughter asked her grandmother why she cut off the ends of the loaf. The grandmother laughed when …

Be a One Woman Riot

When I was a kid, if my siblings and I argued or made too much noise, we were put on silence. Silence meant we were not allowed to speak or make any noise. If we found a way to communicate through spelling letters through sign language or motioning, we might even be put on frozen …

Don’t Let the Narc Mess With Your Heart

Think about all the lies, the put downs and the gaslighting. All the times you tried to explain your heart to someone who was committed to misunderstanding it. All the times your empathetic heart was used by the Narcissist, who said it was your own fault. All the times the Narcissist stepped on your heart, …

Why You Need to Talk with Your Younger Self

Have you ever met a stranger who reminds you of your Grandma? Or reminds you of a mean aunt who verbally abused you? When we react to other people and various stimuli, we are often reacting to our past experiences. These clues might seem like nothing at first, but consider how the triggers of the past influence the …

F the Trauma Bond

While she was growing up, Macy's parents used her as their slave and beat her whenever she didn't do what they wanted. Her three brothers lived like kings compared to her. When Macy became an adult, her parents wanted her to be an accountant and even though she wanted to be a nurse, she took …

Got Respect?

Tessa was an accomplished chef and wonderful hostess, but her sisters in law and mother in law did not appreciate her talents. They simply thought her husband should have married someone else. No matter how beautifully she set the table or how delicious the food, the conversation with her in-laws was always strained. No one …

It’s Not You, It’s the Narc

When Allie met Josh, he told her she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met. Allie thought he was sweet because he was always giving her compliments on her work, her home and her personality. For the first time in her life she felt appreciated. As an ACoN* growing up with a negligent Narc …