If you had a rough and abusive childhood,
it could take decades to heal.
And if the things that happened to you
were particularly neglectful, harsh and vile
it might take years to get out of denial.

Freedom comes in several ways–

1. The first is to leave the abusive environment
and choose the least contact
because it’s not fair or healthy
to continue having your heart bent.

2. The second step is to figure out
what actually happened.
Sometimes the only way to move forward
is to revisit the past
you need to feel it in order to heal it–
anything less will never last.

3. The third step is forgiveness.
But it won’t work to go to step three
until you have completed step two.
You can say you forgive,
but if you don’t know what you’re forgiving
You’ll skip your healing
And go on with your crippled living.

To truly forgive is to
let go of expectations
let go of vengeance,
let go of bitterness
let go of hard feelings
let go of control.
These steps are to set yourself free.

It is only by letting go of our baggage
that we finally become free to fly.
And once we get free–we cannot allow
the expectations of our abusers
to talk us into picking them up again.
Letting go is letting go.

4. The fourth step is to make your own choices.
Freedom comes from knowing who we are,
where we have been
what has been done to us
and realize we did not deserve the abuse
and refuse to allow ourselves to spin
on the abuse cycle any more.

Freedom comes when we discover
there is whole beautiful world
full of kind animals, safer people
and a loving God.

When you have been set free
from your oppressors.
you can burn the belt,
you can tear up the religious rules
you can allow the people
who criticize you and judge you
and try to control you
to deal with their own lives.

Once you release the toxic people–
you have room for your own choices
you can spend your own money
you can sing as loud as you choose
you can dance in the streets
you can love freely.

Can you smell the flowers?
Can you hear the birds?
Their colors and songs proclaim your freedom.
A reminder from your true Father
that you are designed for love.

If those who took away your freedom
claimed to be Christians–
please realize God is not like your parents.
God is the author of liberty
and His Spirit always brings freedom.

Freedom comes through truth,
forgiveness, letting go
and reaching out for community.

Freedom is the invisible superglue
that holds all relationships together
and allows us to love.

So seek out the mothers who care
Connect with the fathers who love
and embrace the sisters
who can relate to your story
and realize the freedom
you’ve been given by God.

“Everything can be taken from a man
but one thing:
the last of the human freedoms—
to choose one’s attitude
in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one’s own way.”
-Viktor E. Frankl

You, precious soul,
can now choose your own way.
Your God-given freedom
is your ticket to love, joy, peace
and all that your heart desires.
So lean into your healthy connections and fly!

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