Friends are the Family We Choose

Sometimes a childhood friend can be an informed witness to our past. In a world where the narcissist wants to control us and flying monkeys often betray us, it's important to remember that  the title of family can extend to those who are willing to show up in our lives.  Never underestimate the power of love between …

Wake Up Wednesday–Moving Beyond the Dysfunctional Family Circus

Wake up calls are not always negative, sometimes they can be positive. Beth wrote me last week to describe how she had grown up being criticized, false accused and often verbally attacked by her family members. It took leaving home and going away to college for her to realize she wasn't the problem after all. …

Memoir Monday–Skip the Rant and Make it a Story

One of the biggest reasons we write memoir is to tell our stories, but these stories also teach us about ourselves and our family histories. A good memoir not only tells a story,  but describes the journey the author has been on which might include their own faults as well as the people who abused …

How to Deal With Narcissistic Hate-Mail

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a flying monkey or a narcissist, you’ve probably received some hate-mail, but just in case you haven’t, allow me to tell you what it's like so you can be prepared when it happens. It might start out with some of your least favorite things and a long list …

Memoir Monday–Angry Relatives

Today’s blog is not a pretty picture blog because I am going to share some of the ugly reality about writing a memoir and dealing with angry relatives. If this is not your mug of mocha, please excuse this and know I will try to write about blue skies and fluffy koalas in the future, …

Writing Memoir–Why I Can’t Keep Quiet

When I was eight and my family suddenly left the house we lived in to sleep in a tent at an abandoned sawmill, I had no idea what was going on. To this day, my parents have never told me what happened. What I do know is that we never went back to that house. …

Flying Monkeys or Walking on Hot Lava–Which do You Prefer?

Well friends, I wish every blog I write could be as beautiful and encouraging as the last one, but I guess we don’t get to live on the mountaintop very often since most of us are dealing with all the narcissistic smog in the valley below. As an Enneagram seven, I’m not fond of sad …

Encounter at Grouse Gap

Today I decided that roasted marshmallows taste like manna. It's interesting how we sometimes get a chance to revisit our lives in full circle moments. Sometimes they’re good experiences and other times they can be triggering. Today I had a beautiful moment that could only be orchestrated by the benevolent heart of the Universe. I …

Five Ingredients for a Narcissist-Free Relationship

Jessie grew up with a narcissistic father, then she found a man who acted a lot like her dad because that is what felt comfortable to her despite the abusive patterns. By the time she discovered what narcissism is, she was with husband number two and sick to her stomach to discover she had married …

When Father’s Day is Complicated

My relationship with my father has been complicated. Many people who read these pages might assume he is the narcissist who set my soul on fire to write this blog, but it was actually a different narcissistic personality in the family who triggered me into remembering my childhood and facing the way I was treated …