How to Know When It’s NOT Your Fault

When I was five years old, I was standing outside the swimming pool when my mother asked me to watch my one year old brother while she went inside to get my new born sister who was crying. I watched my brother faithfully. I watched him flip over on his little paddle board. I watched …

Healing from Hidden Abuse Book Review

It's not the load that breaks us down--heaven knows if we could see it all at once we might just shift our hips and find a better way to carry it--no, it's the shrapnel of life that keeps turning up in our relationships or the gloom we feel when we’re alone due to the painful …

You Won’t be Left Behind–Unless You Choose to Be

If I could go back in time, I’d go back forty years and give my thirteen year old self some advice: You won't be left behind--unless you want to be. It was popular to wear red, white and blue in 1976 because it was the bicentennial year and everyone was celebrating the fact that the United …

Restoration from Narcissistic Abuse

When I was eleven, I had a tabby cat I loved dearly. When we moved, I had to start school late and to make it worse I had to take the fifth grade for a second time due to all of our moving. I was worried I'd never have any friends. But one thing cheered me, …

We Are Shaped by Our Stories

You've probably heard the saying, "We're only as sick as our secrets." One of my secrets is that my family was often homeless. It happened for a short time when I was eight years old. Then we lived in a cabin with limited utilities for most of seven years. During that time, we took our …

Independence Day Again

Do you have an independence day? No, I'm not talking about a national holiday, but the day you were set free because you realized a relationship with someone you loved was not going to work any more? It seems we have many independence days along this journey from narcissism. Sometimes we have to get up and declare our independence just to get out of bed …

Why Spanking is Bad for YOU

This post was inspired by the way a neighbor treated his little girl this week.  Hey Struggling Parent, It doesn't matter what they did or didn’t do, this is about you. For whatever reason, your blood pressure is up, your blood is boiling and you want the release of making your child feel pain so they …

What the Bible Really Says About Honoring Our Parents

About a year ago one of my relatives took offense in my belief that women should be treated with equality in the church and after spouting all her venom on my FaceBook wall, I removed her as a friend. I sent her an email explaining why and suggested we talk in private through email rather than …

How Do We Love?

How do we love? Do we love with picket signs and judgment? Or with silence and shunning for the people who look, speak, think, live and believe differently than us? How do we love? Do we protect ourselves with weapons made of metal or use hate-filled words of steel to threaten those who see things …

Congratulations, It’s a Narc

Think of that moment in a movie or real life when a laboring mother is panting and pushing, while the father is offering her words of encouragement, then finally the moment comes when they hear a cry and the doctor announces those magical words, “Congratulations, it's a boy!" Or "Congratulations, it's a girl!" Everyone cries happy …