Mothers of the Lie

Many people of narcissistic mothers meet and share a similar anxiety and shame, yet when they compare notes,  they are surprised to discover  their mothers are so different. This is because they don’t realize there is more than one type of narcissistic mother.  In his book, “The People of the Lie,” M. Scott Peck talks about …

Just Say No to Bullies

The other day I heard from a young mother who told me about a bullying problem at a Christian school. Her child kept coming home hurt from a bully’s rude comments and hitting. She encouraged her child to stand tall in dignity, look the bully in the eye and ask, "Why are you hitting me?" …

Sanctuary

Sanctuary. We hear this word in the news a lot lately. I find it interesting because I grew up in a church that talks a lot about Bible prophecies and last day events and the cleansing of the sanctuary has been listed as a doctrine.  Some people's theology is all about escaping this earth and proving …

The Dawn of Hope

The election was over when you discovered your candidate was dead. The guy who attracted birds and animals and people. The guy who could bring out the masses and feed them too. The guy who gave out free health care along with miracle cures. The guy who was a revolutionary and had a better way to …

Imagine There’s No Haters

Most controlling parents seem unaware of how much their expectations and punishments suck the life out of their children long after they leave home. I still occasionally feel guilty whenever I cut my hair, eat certain foods or befriend people I know my parents would disapprove of while I was growing up, but I don't …

5 Reasons You Should Watch the Shack

Isn't The Shack just a made up story? Yes. Is it even based on biblical facts? Yes, in some ways, but I like to think of it as an allegory. Pilgrim's Progress wasn't a true story either. But wait, God is a man and not a woman, right? Well, who of us has seen God? These …

Be a One Woman Riot

When I was a kid, if my siblings and I argued or made too much noise, we were put on silence. Silence meant we were not allowed to speak or make any noise. If we found a way to communicate through spelling letters through sign language or motioning, we might even be put on frozen …

Don’t Let the Narcissist Define You

One of the most damaging things that happens to ACoNs is when the narcissistic parent tries to define them. The narc will try to define you to yourself, friends and other family members. This is part of the gaslighting treatment and we must diligently refuse to allow such lies to influence us. Let fools and flying monkeys …

Don’t Let the Narc Mess With Your Heart

Think about all the lies, the put downs and the gaslighting. All the times you tried to explain your heart to someone who was committed to misunderstanding it. All the times your empathetic heart was used by the Narcissist, who said it was your own fault. All the times the Narcissist stepped on your heart, …

Don’t Shut Up, Your Voice Matters

Well Friends, I have been dumbfounded. I haven’t been sure what to write about lately because there is just so much sad news, I can hardly bear to write about it. When you grow up with oppression and live in fear of a belt and are refused an education, your hope turns to the government and church—people …