Walking Away from Narcissism

May those that love us, love us. And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts, If He can't turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles So we'll know them by their limping. -An Old Irish Curse Many of us started on this journey of understanding narcissism when we noticed something wrong …

How to Avoid the Narcissist’s Triangulation Game

Lindsey was tired of her three sisters knocking on her door to tell her what her mother was saying about her new husband. She knew her narc mom didn’t like him because he stood up for her and taught her how to use her boundaries, but she was unprepared for how it affected her relationships …

Three Ways to Disable Flying Monkeys

Who doesn’t like a monkey–unless it’s a flying monkey. I don’t know about you, but I love to go to the zoo and I could watch the monkeys for hours. Monkeys see and monkeys do. They love to imitate and respond to facial expressions. A few years ago, one of my nephews went to a …

Don’t Let the Narcissist Define You

One of the most damaging things that happens to ACoNs is when the narcissistic parent tries to define them. The narc will try to define you to yourself, friends and other family members. This is part of the gaslighting treatment and we must diligently refuse to allow such lies to influence us. Let fools and flying monkeys …

Celebrate Only in Freedom

This is the time of year we hear lots of quotes and comments about being grateful. Sometimes we even read or hear admonitions to be grateful for what we have and for those of us who have fractured families, it can feel like a slap in the face. Such messages usually come from superficial friends …

How to Survive Spiritual Abuse

In my early twenties, I was part of a Christian music ministry and for nine months we sang at a different church every night. We were told to respect the authority of our leaders because they were set in place by God. One day at training camp, I was slapped in the face for leaving a three hour meeting …

How to Know When It’s NOT Your Fault

When I was five years old, I was standing outside the swimming pool when my mother asked me to watch my one year old brother while she went inside to get my new born sister who was crying. I watched my brother faithfully. I watched him flip over on his little paddle board. I watched …

Congratulations, It’s a Narc

Think of that moment in a movie or real life when a laboring mother is panting and pushing, while the father is offering her words of encouragement, then finally the moment comes when they hear a cry and the doctor announces those magical words, “Congratulations, it's a boy!" Or "Congratulations, it's a girl!" Everyone cries happy …

Five Myths About Motherhood

If you had a loving mom, it’s a beautiful thing to acknowledge her for whatever she’s done for you, but it's also important to understand not everyone has such a mother. Here are five myths about motherhood that might make Mother's Day easier to get through if you are struggling with a broken relationship with your mom. …

Why the Narc Can’t Steal Your Courage

According to her mother, Heidi is the black sheep of the family, but she wasn't always the black sheep. She used to be her narc mother's extension. If her mother wanted the rest of family to do something, Heidi was the flying monkey golden child who passed on her messages when her mother was upset. …