Be a One Woman Riot

When I was a kid, if my siblings and I argued or made too much noise, we were put on silence. Silence meant we were not allowed to speak or make any noise. If we found a way to communicate through spelling letters through sign language or motioning, we might even be put on frozen …

Why You Need to Talk with Your Younger Self

Have you ever met a stranger who reminds you of your Grandma? Or reminds you of a mean aunt who verbally abused you? When we react to other people and various stimuli, we are often reacting to our past experiences. These clues might seem like nothing at first, but consider how the triggers of the past influence the …

Restoration from Narcissistic Abuse

When I was eleven, I had a tabby cat I loved dearly. When we moved, I had to start school late and to make it worse I had to take the fifth grade for a second time due to all of our moving. I was worried I'd never have any friends. But one thing cheered me, …

We Are Shaped by Our Stories

You've probably heard the saying, "We're only as sick as our secrets." One of my secrets is that my family was often homeless. It happened for a short time when I was eight years old. Then we lived in a cabin with limited utilities for most of seven years. During that time, we took our …

Re-Framing Our Life Stories

A couple years ago, a man in my church told me to hurry up and finish my memoir so I could move on with my life. Sadly, this person has probably never read a memoir unless it was of a sports hero. He was assuming I was damaging myself for writing about my unconventional childhood, …

Tale of Two Mamas

It feels like I’ve had two mothers in my life, but she was the same woman. I remember the mama who polished the pipes under the sink, kept the house spotless and made sure I didn’t get any germs in my mouth. I remember the mama who drove all over town to find me a …

Little Red

Little Red. We've all heard about her, but we didn't recognize how much we had in common with her. Little Red is the symbol of all who were abused in the home and church in the name of love. Nothing is more sinister than believing we are loved and safe only to be ravaged by …

Pocket Full of Sunshine

Some of my friends were talking about how to move on. They would like to forget the past but it never seems to leave them. If you have never been in this situation, it might be hard to understand how we need to both review our past and move on from it. For those who would like a better …

Why Some of Us Were Frozen

Who says Disney movies are for kids? A wise man once said "Rules are for children and stories are for grownups." The movie Frozen proves this point. We might laugh at the idea of having a super power, but let's face it, most of us have been frozen at some time in our lives. Elsa …

The Quilt of Integrity

Among the voices telling me to forget about the past, my own was the loudest. My husband and I once bought a Dr. Phil book which required making a timeline of our lives. We went out for coffee to fill it out, and found ourselves swallowed up by a dark cloud. We discovered both of …