Tag Archives: Ezer Kenegdo

5 Reasons You Should Watch the Shack

6 Mar

Isn’t The Shack just a made up story? Yes. Is it even based on biblical facts? Yes, in some ways, but I like to think of it as an allegory. Pilgrim’s Progress wasn’t a true story either. But wait, God is a man and not a woman, right? Well, who of us has seen God? These are some of the questions people have about the movie, The Shack based on Wm. Paul Young’s book by the same name. This book and movie have taken a lot of heat, but most of the critics haven’t bothered to read or watch it. If you are one of the skeptics, allow me to share five reasons why you might want to watch The Shack.

1. If You Have Ever Suffered a Huge Loss and Wondered Why

The Shack tries to answer the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Many of us in hard times after a death of a loved one or some other terrible event have asked, “Where is God if he is sovereign?” This movie attempts to answer this question through telling a story about one man broken by a terrible childhood and then a loss in his adult life.

2. If You have Father Issues and Feel You Can’t Trust the Father

Early in The Shack we see Mac’s father beating him with a belt. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent who beat you, put you down or abused you in any way, you might find it very hard to trust God. This is because God’s original plan was for parents to act in the role of God to their children. When we were small and unable to provide for ourselves, we relied on our parents for everything. When they were abusive, it gave us the idea God might be abusive too. Part of the reason for this is that little kids can’t see the abuse. They won’t assume their parent is abusive, they just think they are bad. As children, we absorbed our parents’ sins and now as adults, we still feel unworthy. In the Shack, Papa goes out of the way to make sure Mac knows he is worthy of God’s friendship and love. That word friendship came up several times between Mac and Jesus. It reminded me of one of the least repeated verses in the Bible where Jesus says:

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15

One of the problems we ACoNs have with our parents is they often won’t release us to be their friends, because they want us to be their servants and slaves for life. Of course it is a form of love to serve our parents–but not when we are adults who are forced to submit to a narcissist abuser.

The Shack reminds us that God is not at all like a narcissistic parent, he is always concerned about what is best for us. In the words of Papa, God says, “I am especially fond of you!” And what is so amazing is that he is especially fond of every person in the world, but it doesn’t take away from the wonder and love he has for each of us as individuals. God is a good parent who loves every one of his children equally, but differently.

3. If You Have Been Afraid of God’s Wrath

In The Shack, Mac asks Papa what about God’s wrath. And Papa says, “What? What are you talking about?” Mac thinks God is vindictive and revengeful toward sinners and Papa reassures him this is not true at all.

If you have not discovered the fact that God’s wrath in Romans 1 is really about God letting people go to their choices and not about revenge, then study up on it. There will be fundamentalists who disagree, but a thorough study of the subject might back up Young’s ideas in The Shack.

This film gives a great example of letting go through the art of storytelling. While it has theological tones, the story itself is well written, well directed and well-acted. People without a religious bone in their body could still enjoy The Shack—because it is a well told story and the heart of this movie is not about religion, but relationship.

4. If You Struggle With Judging or Forgiving Others

It also shows how we can let go and still honor our losses.This movie is not just about losing someone dear, it also carries the message to stop judging others and forgive them–despite the horrible things they have done.

Every abuser was formed most likely by the abuse of their parents going all the way back to Adam and Eve. While judging and forgiving seem to be at odds with each other, the way we can deal with both healthfully is to let go.

In the situation of narcissistic parents, we are healthier for letting go. The burdens we carry don’t have to hinder us and tie us down, God can turn our pain into wisdom as we grow stronger until we learn to fly. In this story, like in many of our lives, there were characters who needed to be forgiven and there were nightmares that came from the darkness that could only be put to rest by looking to Jesus as our brother and friend.

I was particularly touched by one scene with Mac and his father. Once we see our parents’ wounds we can forgive easier and we can realize they didn’t mean to harm us, they were broken by the fall too. How many children’s hearts would be turned back to their fathers if parents only they owned what they had done and asked for forgiveness? Of course, we realize most narcissistic parents will never do this, but we can forgive them even when they don’t say sorry. We are the ones who will heal when we do this.

5. If You Have Trouble Trusting God in Any Way

About ten years ago, I went to a seminar where the speaker asked if Jesus was behind one door and the Father the other, which door we would choose to go through. My answer was the Jesus door because I thought Jesus was the good guy who had saved me from the Father. That night I learned some things starting with the fact that Jesus said he and the Father are one. God’s wrath is letting us go to our own choices. There is no revenge in the Spirit of God. That whatever Jesus would say and do for me is the same as what the Father would say and do for me. I was first in shock, then in awe of God.

The next morning I got up at dawn and looked at this amazing and gorgeous sunrise full of pink and gold. As I stared up at it, I felt the Spirit speaking to my heart that this display was for me. That Abba, Papa, Father–whatever we call God was shining his love on me and I began to weep. I asked him, “Father, can you really be this good?” I will never forget that morning—it was the day that changed everything in my life. I have never had a worry about the future or my salvation since. My feelings were similar while I watched The Shack. I was profoundly touched by God’s love.

The Shack gives us a little God’s eye view of humanity where we can see how God loves every person. One of my friends who went to see it with me said, “I wish I could go and stay at the shack for a long time.” Why? Because to dwell in that shack is to be nurtured and loved unconditionally by God. To get answers from God. I believe The Shack is a little taste of heaven and it will change your heart, but you’ll have to see it for yourself.

NOTE: Some will have theological questions about this, while I am not a theologian, I will share a little of what I have learned from others.

Some Theological Questions About the Shack

God as a Black Woman?

The biggest criticism of The Shack has been its portrayal of a black woman as God the Father. But people who have trouble trusting God as a father might need to see the feminine face of God. God said, “Let us make humankind in our image.” If Eve as Ezer Kenegdo was created in God’s image, then certainly God has a feminine side. Jesus himself said he would like to gather the people in Jerusalem like hen gathers her chicks under her feathers (Matthew 23:37). There is a Bible verse which says, “Even if a mother forgets her nursing child, I will not forget you” (Isaiah 49:15,16).

The fact is God is Spirit. None of us have seen God. We know throughout the Bible God has manifested as the angel of the Lord in various places (Genesis 22:11–15). And God has manifested as a human even before Jesus was born, when three visitors came to Abraham and at least one of them was God. Even here, maybe the number three has significance (Genesis 18). When Jesus was baptized, the Holy Spirit was manifested as a dove (Matthew 3:16). Paul says Jesus was manifested as a rock for the Children of Israel (I Corinthians 10:4) and he was also the cloud which protected them by day and night (Exodus 13:21).

The Shack portrays God manifested as a black woman, an Asian woman and as a Native American Father. I see no reason why such portrayals would shock anyone who understands how God bends close to the earth to meet each hurting human in the place where we most need God.

Universalism?

Other critics have accused Young of writing about Universalism which states that no one will be lost but all will be saved. I didn’t get this idea from the book or the movie. But it is important to note that God is especially fond of everyone—the question is will we allow God to heal us? Some may not, but it has always been God’s dream to save everyone–he just won’t force anyone.

When Mac asked, “Then are there to be no consequences for sin, Papa says, “Oh there’s always consequences.” Then Papa describes how God gives everyone freedom of choice–if this is true, then God either must win every soul to his way of thinking, or lose some.

I was reminded of two verses:

1. The Wages of Sin is Death (Romans 6:23).

Some say the wages paid by sin is death. This is the law of sowing and reaping. Some call it karma. Jesus taught about the parable of the sower. If there is no sowing, there will be no reaping. We all will reap what we sow.

2. It is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4).
Some say sinners can’t follow God unless they are scared into it, but that is not God’s way, that is the enemy’s lie. How do we know this?

God has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7).

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love (1 John 4:18).

The true biblical explanation of God’s wrath is actually letting go (Romans 1:18-32). We would all be wise to notice this passage is about all sin–not just the ones mentioned by the fundamentalist Christians. I believe when God lets go, the Holy Spirit releases people to their own choices.

The poison vine Sarayu warned Mac was deadly when helping him dig up the weeds in the garden of his heart, reminded me of how sin kills us. And if we refuse to allow Sarayu AKA the Holy Spirit to help us clean up those toxic parts in our hearts, we could become damaged and in danger of walking away from God altogether.

Disconnection from God is what is so deadly for all of us humans. This is why God’s enemy puts up so much opposition to The Shack. If people are afraid to watch it because some Christian warns them it’s dangerous, they might miss out on trusting God and having a better relationship with him and that could be a tragedy.

Where the Spirit of God is there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17).

Let each person decide for themselves.

Ezer Kenegdo Still Rising

19 Jan

The situation of women’s rights is coming to a head. It’s time to stand up for women everywhere. As we say goodbye to a president who affirms and supports strong women, we are now going to be under a man who uses women. It appears the crowds for the Women’s March will far out number the inauguration. This is an indicator that men will not always have the last word about women. I am proud for all of my sisters who are marching.

This brings me to spiritual women’s issue at hand. The Seventh-day Adventist General Conference President (the church I grew up in and feel ashamed of since Wilson took over as president) summoned the North American Division to discuss what some believe is the GC President’s way of seeking to punish some for ordaining women.

Punishing people for treating women with equality should never be an issue in God’s church, my friends. Never. I will say it again because it’s true. The subjugation of women, the mistreatments of women, the unfair promotional track for women is sometimes expected in the world, but this should never be the case in a church which claims to represent God’s character.

If you have a disagreement about Women’s Rights, please don’t take it up with me—I’ve heard all the stale arguments against it that don’t hold water. Take it up with Jesus. Fortunately we are under the headship of one man–Jesus. There is ample evidence in the gospels of how Jesus treats women. If our leaders claim to be Christian and do not reflect this mindset, we can be sure they have gone off course.

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So women all around our country and world are waiting, praying and marching. There are many Adventist women marching this weekend.  They are doing this on the Sabbath and they are more concerned about the Spirit of the Sabbath than they are about the legal ramifications of breaking a holy day. In the words of Jesus paraphrased by me: “Woman was not made for the Sabbath, but the Sabbath was made for Woman.”

Where do we get such gall? God said let us make humankind our image. Eve was made in the image of God just as much as Adam.  Not only was she made in God’s image, she was made from Adam’s rib which gave her equality as in Adam’s own words flesh of his flesh.

While some say man should have headship over women because he was created first and had more time with God. But God put Adam to sleep while he created Eve, so Eve had her own thing going on with God before she met Adam. This is a reminder to all of us women that we do not need a man to be our priest, we can go directly to our heavenly Father and Jesus.

Woman is meant to be part of Man, but she is the feminine image of God. Many scholars like to remind us that Woman was made as the crowning act of creation. All of creation gets better and better each day. Eve was the climax. And when we say Eve was the climax, we are not putting down men, we are simply stating God’s natural order of creation according the Genesis poem.

What is even more important than the creation order is the name God gave for Eve. Many times the name given to Eve by God Ezer Kenegdo (Gen 2:18) is mis-translated “help mate” as if she was only there to carry his water bucket or cook dinner for him. This false assumption has led to the subjugation and abuse of women for centuries. I have copied someone else’s words because I am not a scholar:

“The original text does not denote a subordinate helper or assistant. It is most often God Himself who is called ēzer (“helper”) (Exod 18:4; Deut 33:7, 26; Ps 33:20; 70:5; 115:9, 10, 11). The phrase ēzerk’negdô in Gen 2 means no less than an equal counterpart, a “partner” (Gen 2:18, 22 NEB) (see Jacques Doukhan, The Genesis Creation Story [Berrien Springs, MI: Andrews University Press, 1978], 46-47). Adam does not name Eve till after the Fall (Gen 3:20).”

There are some who say we should not opt for women to be treated equally but keep this as an administrative issue and allow conferences around the world to continue subjugating women wherever it is a matter of culture, but does this represent the true character of the God we serve? I think not.

Within the churches, across our country and around the world, women as Ezer Kenegdos are still rising. They are rising to take the original place God gave Women and intended for them to have all along. We know we are wrestling in this broken world, but it would be nice if we didn’t have to wrestle within the church.

In the long run, it won’t really matter what either of the current presidents think–no matter how dysfunctional they are–whether leading the country or the church, Jesus will ultimately have the last word. And we can rest assured Jesus is a God who loves women, who always treats them with respect.

Giving Women Wings

17 Nov

Girlfriends we are in a war. Not the kind you read about in the news feed, but a private and personal war. It’s an attack on woman-kind. And the enemy is not cut and dried like one sports team against the other where the color of the uniform informs. It’s a war of men against woman–but not all men. It’s hidden abuse behind closed doors with men who view women as less than themselves. The battle is real for a mother who can’t sleep at night because the man she married and the father of her child is an abusive narcissist.

In a world where people are fighting over whether it’s PC to wear safety pins, God calls Women and there are true Ezer Kenegdos who are rising and making a difference with their hands and feet. I’d like to introduce you to a ministry called, “Give Her Wings.” Their goal is to help women get on their feet and find their wings.

Many times women are shamed by the church and accused of being codependent, but the truth is many victims of narcissistic abuse are stuck in a trauma bond. This means they have been abused to the point they can’t find themselves anymore. These women are in a fight for survival and any little crumb of kindness thrown at them by the narcissist–while it might seem like nourishment to to them—is actually a part of the poison. These lies are part of the abuse cycle to reel women in with kindness and then berate them with abuse. Such treatment could wear down the strongest of women if she is gas-lighted on a daily basis.

Give Her Wings is making a difference one woman, one family at a time. We know narcs rarely change. When these women wait for their abusers to change, it erodes their self-worth and damages their children who are growing up with fighting in the home. The only solution to such horrible abuse is to go no contact, but because so many Christians are ignorant about narcissistic abuse, these women often fall through the cracks because they feel ashamed to ask for help.

This is where Give Her Wings not only offers financial support, but spiritual and emotional support to help women remember who they were created to be in order to regain their wings of independence. Here is some of their philosophy in their own words:

“We do not encourage our mamas to look back at their old life with their abusive ex-husbands; we do not link them to those men. That is over and done with. We encourage them to move forward and press on to the new life Jesus is giving them. And we do everything we can to help with that.” -David

“We love our mamas, we do not try to help anyone “reconcile” with an abuser, knowing that this is impossible. We meet vulnerability with even more dignity and we give mercy right where they are and where we are.” –Megan

I was recently honored when Give Her Wings purchased some of my art and I decided to look into their platform and I was amazed what a small group of people can do when they serve one woman at a time. It literally brought tears to my eyes.

Ezer Angel, cherilynclough.com, http://www.redbubble.com/people/littlered7/works/23882013-ezer-kenegdo-angel

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I’ve thought a lot about women–how God created us as Ezer Kenegdos to reflect Herself–the feminine side of God. That God Herself also is called Ezer several times when the crisis is great and people need a lifesaver. The women (and men) at Give Her Wings are acting as true lifesavers, true Ezer Kenegdos helping God restore women by helping them rediscover their original Ezer glory and freedom in their Creator. This is the way to healing—to know who created us and who we were meant to be–I believe this is the only way any of us can find our true healing.

So I was just playing around with my paper and glue and this angel showed up to remind me we can all be Ezer Kenegdos–we can all be lifesavers who come alongside–this is who we were designed to be. When I am painting, I never know how the art will emerge. As I prayed for this ministry called Give Her Wings, I was reminded of so many ways we can all be angels to give other women wings and I added a few ideas at the bottom.

As Christmas approaches Give Her Wings has raised gifts for twenty two mothers and over forty children this Christmas. That’s amazing, but they continue to work all year round to free women from the chains of abuse. Their website and facebook page offer articles to help women support others and realize what narcissism is so they can get on with their lives and fly.

Bravo to Give Her Wings! I can’t imagine a more powerful work! Let’s follow the example of Give Her Wings and look for opportunities to serve the women and children around us.

PS If you are looking for a worthy cause to donate to before the end of the year, I highly recommend Give Her Wings.

Don’t forget to check out their links:

About Give Her Wings

Give Her Wings Website

Give Her Wings on Facebook

A Great Article About Trauma Bonds

Ezer Kenegdo Rising

11 Nov

In the beginning God created Man, but he was not all that–because even though God created Man with perfection, something was missing–Man wasn’t whole. We know this because God looked at him and said, “It’s not good for Man to be alone.”

So God put Man to sleep and took a rib out of him to form Woman. This rib was to remind Man that Woman was not a separate entity, but an actual part of him. Man recognized this when he saw her and declared, “She is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh!” This caused Man to love and care for Woman’s body and soul as much as his own.

But God didn’t create Woman to be an extension of Man. Woman was designed with a mind of her own to test and strengthen Man though the experiences of life. When God named Woman, She declared her an “Ezer Kenegdo” which means, the “Lifesaver who comes alongside.” God Herself is called Ezer just a few times in the Bible and every time, God is referenced as coming through to save the day when everything looks hopeless and lost.

Woman, as the crowning act of creation, was given a God-like role to serve and provide hope and love to save Man’s life. Of course this was not a one way transaction–Man would be blessed by the experience to love Woman and she would be blessed by the experience of loving Man. As long as they continued to serve each other, they would enjoy a beautiful symbiotic relationship of equality where neither controlled, nor manipulated the other. For a while this worked and all was well in Paradise.

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Then one day Man decided to do his thing while Woman did hers. Instead of working together, Woman ended up vulnerable and alone and deceived by a charmer. This resulted in Man choosing to protect self and before they knew it, they discovered they were both naked and ashamed. Instead of Man owning his junk and Woman owning hers, they blamed each other, the charmer and ultimately God.

God hadn’t changed. She was the same. She called for Man and Woman and found them both hiding in the bushes trying on fig leaves as if God couldn’t see through Her own creation. God had created this beautiful unity between two versatile parts who were two, yet one, but now their unity was broken and it grieved Her.

It was time to tell them the truth. Because they had fractured their unity, the struggle was harsh. Man was stronger and he would lord over Woman. Woman would now pine for their lost intimacy and use all sorts of manipulation to get Man’s love back. Their own insecurities and shame began to block the connection between them.

Man figured if one Woman could save his life, perhaps he could become immortal if he had more Women. Woman, heartbroken sought ways to manipulate Man to regain her status. Woman’s plans backfired. Man’s love of power grew greater than Man’s love for Woman and their connection faded.

This broken pattern has been passed down from our first parents to us today. Woman, who was once the crowning act of creation and created in the shape of God Herself, was altered by her own scheming and manipulations. Man used his power over Woman and downgraded her title to “help-mate.” He now expected her to carry his water bucket and quench his thirst–only to thrown Woman into the ditch whenever he was in a bad mood.

No one has seen God except what humans have seen in the face of the God/Man Jesus. Yet Man is only half of the image of God because Male and Female were both made in God’s image. We have seen the masculine face of God in Jesus, but the feminine face is more obscure. God could have just as easily come to us as a Woman, but perhaps God came as a Man because Man had stolen all the power from Woman.

In order to meet broken humans where they were. God had to manifest Herself/Himself as a Man to lead because Woman, the Ezer Kenegdo–the one who was meant to be a lifesaver for Man, was now broken down and infertile by Man’s desire to rule over her. So God entered human history as a Man in order to lead both sexes back to health and equality. Thus it would be said “In Christ there are no males or females.”

After this happened, Woman began to get her power back because of the God/Man Jesus.

Woman, who had slept with men to gain back her love, now found her value restored through the God/Man Jesus.

Woman, who had demons in her soul, was now set free by the God/Man Jesus.

Woman, who was once forced outside the temple, was now beckoned inside by the God/Man Jesus.

Woman, long shut out of educational pursuits and status by Man, was now being restored by sitting at the feet of the God/Man Jesus.

Woman who was once shut out and overwhelmed with grief, was healed and restored by the God/Man Jesus. And so out of gratitude, Woman spent all she had to show her appreciation by washing the feet of the God/Man Jesus.

And God, knowing what had been stolen from Woman by Man’s greed and desire to lord it over Woman, gave Woman the greatest tasks of all–to carry the God/Man Jesus in her body, to nurture the God/Man Jesus’s human mind and body and to be the first person to announce to the world that the God/Man Jesus had accomplished His mission when He arose from the grave.

Yet even with such proof and the fact that both Man and Woman were created in God’s image, Man still assumes God is male and Man continues to deny Woman her status as the Ezer Kenegdo. Man continues to use Woman and exalt himself above her, but Woman will not be subjected to Man for eternity. Man has taken very little thought of the feminine face of God, but what a surprise he will have when he looks into the eyes of the Ezer, the God whose image Woman bears.

Meanwhile Woman is rising!  Thanks to Man, Woman had nowhere else to go but up. And thanks to the God/Man Jesus, Woman is being restored to her original glory of Ezer Kenegdo.

Have you seen Ezer Kenegdo?

Ezer Kenegdo is rising as the brightest star of kindness and grace shining against the darkest night of oppression and misogyny.

Ezer Kenegdo is rising as a comforter who sponges the fevered brow of society’s many diseases even as she wipes away her own tears.

Ezer Kenegdo is rising as the baker of the Bread and pourer of the Wine–even while she is told to stand at the back of the line.

Ezer Kenegdo is rising even as she continues to endure her shame and pain because Man is often too vile to recognize the image of the most high God within her.

Ezer Kenegdo is rising as she risks her own life to call out truth and demand justice for those who are marginalized.

Ezer Kenegdo is rising as she leads the way in love for all people and points out where human judgments fall far short of God’s grace.

Ezer Kenegdo has been beaten and bruised and give her own crown of thorns, but because of the love of the God/Man Jesus, Ezer Kenegdo is carrying the cross too heavy for past centuries, but today she is finding her identity and worth through the face of the God/Man Jesus. Ezer Kenegdo rises higher than ever because now she knows her joy will come in the morning, when the dawn breaks in the garden on that final resurrection day.

Ezer Kenegdo is rising. Trained eyes can see her in Woman now, but she will finally be seen in all her glory when she is standing next to the God who formed Woman in Her image.

But  until then, Man, who has failed to recognize the feminine face of God, is shocked to hear Ezer/God’s voice crying out, “Man, Man, why are you persecuting Me?”

Good Girls Get Angry

15 Jul

While I was growing up, I was taught never to show my anger. My parents didn’t allow children to throw tantrums, so I watched my younger siblings being beaten with a belt over and over until their wills were broken. I believe this happened to me too, because for most of my life, I have been unable to access my anger.

Growing up in an environment where I was told that “good girls don’t get angry” only caused me to absorb all kinds of abuse starting with the physical and emotional abuse doled out by my parents. I have been on a journey of healing. As I write out the stories of my childhood and reframe them, I have finally discovered my anger and my voice.

When I write about my childhood, and most ACoNs* say, “Yeah me too.” All narcissistic families have similar patterns. No matter how much we love some people there is nothing we can do unless they are willing to be honest and treat us with respect. Most ACoNs realize this will never happen because narcissists care more about being right than having a relationship and they don’t change when they get to church. This is why many church leaders wield power over others with an appalling lack of empathy.

I grew up in the Seventh-day Adventist Church. Last week they held a vote over Women’s ordination to decide if different world divisions could decide for themselves about ordaining women. People from all nations voted, but some nations voted in blocks due to their local politics. The air was charged with politics and hate even to the point of booing a former president. Not only is our current world president firmly against women’s ordination, he used his position to push his own agenda on the rest of the church.

Of course the vote was no. Considering all the nations represented, I see no way it could be yes, because we are talking about nations where female mutilation is practiced and male headship is common. Such cultures ridicule the thought of woman leaders. I just had higher hopes for our American church leaders. Unfortunately, the false doctrine of male headship appears to be swaying a lot of votes despite the fact that our seminary has refuted it. For those of us who believe women are equal to men this has been a travesty.

I personally believe the vote and all the politics around it have misrepresented God’s character to the world. I believe the God who created women, also calls them. We see this in the life of Jesus from allowing to Mary to sit at His feet like a disciple, to His calling of the Samaritan woman at the well who brought her entire town to meet Jesus. When Jesus rose again, He gave the first message about the resurrection–not to John or Peter, but to Mary and ordained her to give to the men who were hiding in an upper room. It’s obvious for those willing to see that God calls women.

Can't Hold Back the Dawn, Virginia Davidson

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Since the vote a week ago, we have been told from the top down to stop talking about women’s ordination. They say the vote is over and now it’s time to get on with our lives, but that leaves a crippled church limping along by respecting only half of the members. I don’t believe it’s over until the church endorses women with equality.

This affects more than women pastors, it affects every woman in the church who has gifts to share but has been accused of usurping a man’s role for sharing Jesus. It trickles down to the little girl who wonders if God loves her as much as her brother. Despite how our leadership acts, it’s important to note God is not a narcissistic Parent–Jesus showed us by kneeling down to wash dirty feet that God cares about every person and if the Father sees a sparrow fall, how much more does He care about how a woman pastor is treated?

This last week, many of us wore black clothes and ampersands to church. The ampersand represents men & women working together–not men over women, nor women over men, but a complete and equal partnership. We wanted to show our mourning and solidarity because through this vote, fringe beliefs have hijacked our church and distorted God’s character to the world. The Seventh day Adventist church has NEVER supported male headship. It came into the church from Bill Gothard and most never dreamed this could happen.

So this week, we are regrouping. We who understand that God created Eve equal to Adam before the fall. We who understand that Jesus came to destroy the devil’s work and restore us back to equality. We take joy when we read Paul saying there is no male or female in Christ, yet we are now subjected to a splitting and often abusive church family who condemn us for following Jesus and our own conscience.

Several TV preachers are so against women pastors that they have been writing books and posting videos proclaiming women’s ordination is a tool of the devil. One after another of my friends–including myself, have been told we are being deceived just like Eve and under satanic influence merely for serving God with the gifts He has given us.

Jimmy Carter and the Elders who have studied this around the world say that male headship contributes to the abuse of women all over the world. Our own church seminary has refuted the practice of male headship and our historian George Knight has given us a rundown on what exactly ordination means in the video below, but few seem to be listening to his logic.

There are people who would rather see men in power than work beside women and this includes our president. Ted Wilson has gone so far as to avoid being on the platform when a woman pastor was commissioned–something already approved by the church. If he truly wants to represent Christ, then why not pray over a woman who has dedicated her entire life to serving God? Jesus laid His hands on children and blessed them, should we give women less?

Suddenly people who haven’t spoken to us for months feel a need to set us straight on our Facebook statuses. They call accuse us of being selfish or led by the devil. It would be funny if it was not real and many are relatives or old friends who feel they have the right to condemn us for not seeing it like they do. It doesn’t help that our church president is calling for us to stop talking about this and embrace unity, but how can there be unity when any part of the body is hurting? Does it not affect the rest of the body too?

The worst part is we have been told it’s over—to stop focusing on how we treat women because we need to be ready for Jesus to come. Once again, it’s God they use so they can abuse. Most ACoNs see these patterns of power over and control and recognize them for what they are, but this general lack of empathy for women is a shame for a church that says it represents Christ to the world.

In all of these attacks on women’s value, I have not lost my faith, but I have found my anger.

I am angry when Christians raise themselves above others by using the steps of Satan instead of the Steps of Jesus.

I am angry when dishonest people write books that are the 21st century equivalent to a 17th century witch hunt.

I am angry when corrupt politics invades God’s church and people are allowed to manipulate the vote and then leaders call it God’s will.

I am angry when we have a church president who shows little empathy for the pain of women and tells us to have unity while he continues to ignore our pain.

I am angry that family members have been suckered into this male headship deception and feel it is their religious duty to condemn women pastors and all who support them.

I am angry when ignorant people try to stop women from serving Jesus.

I am angry that the most important event in history (the second coming of Jesus) is being used to manipulate hurting women into silence.

And I am most angry because this vote of my church–the Seventh day Adventist church has misrepresented God’s character to the world.

So no, Elder Wilson, we will not be silent. You might have control over your cabinet, but you cannot control our hearts and thoughts. If you wish for unity, you must care about the part of the body that is hurting.

And God, in case you haven’t heard, is exactly like Jesus in character and Jesus loves and calls women.

The surge is only beginning to rise. We are many “Ezer Kenegdos”–designed, empowered and called by God.

Good girls and women get angry when we see that God has called women and our leaders will not do unto others as they would like to be treated. Yes, this misrepresentation makes us angry—the way Jesus got angry when He cleansed the temple. Mark my words. Jesus is coming physically in the future, but He has already come into the hearts of many and He is cleansing temples right now. The question our leaders need to ask themselves, is does God really see me more important than women?

Allow me to repeat this, we will NOT be silent. We are half of the army God has called and enabled to serve and even if the GC president withholds his blessing, God will continue to empower women. I have many friends around the world who are standing with us—some pledging to wear ampersands and black until this is set right. Heaven’s angels gather around us as a great crowd of witnesses.

Sure, we are staring into darkness right now, but we can see a gleam of light on the horizon. Our hearts burn within us and no one–not the president of our church, or fanatical TV preachers or the self-righteous members of our families, can stop what God ordains. You can’t hold back the dawn.

*ACoN Adult Children of Narcissists

God Calls Women

Jimmy Carter TED Talk On Women’s Abuse

Andrew University Headship Statement

Healthy Anger Sermon by Seth Pierce

The Biblical Meaning Of Ordination by George Knight