Walking Away from Narcissism

May those that love us, love us. And those that don't love us, May God turn their hearts, If He can't turn their hearts, May he turn their ankles So we'll know them by their limping. -An Old Irish Curse Many of us started on this journey of understanding narcissism when we noticed something wrong …

The Nashville Statement and Narcissism

The Christian Right just rolled out a document called the Nashville Statement which includes fourteen articles of affirmation and denial that refer to human sexuality. The people who signed it are far right evangelicals which include John Piper and Wayne Grudem whose names are familiar to me because they are proponents of the false doctrine …

How to Avoid the Narcissist’s Triangulation Game

Lindsey was tired of her three sisters knocking on her door to tell her what her mother was saying about her new husband. She knew her narc mom didn’t like him because he stood up for her and taught her how to use her boundaries, but she was unprepared for how it affected her relationships …

Memoir Monday—Liar, Liar Pants on Fire?

My Grandma, Veronica (Mellish) Ellis was a writer. No one really knew this outside of the family because she was never published. She just filled out diary after diary, year after year. Who knows how long she had been keeping a faithful diary, but I know she told me once that she wrote something in …

Wake Up Wednesday–Embrace Your Freedom

Sadie had been in relationship after relationship in which she felt stifled. She just wanted to be loved for herself and stop swimming laps to please the people she was dating. She decided to make a list of the things she felt were important to her. It was a good list and it included certain …

Friends are the Family We Choose

Sometimes a childhood friend can be an informed witness to our past. In a world where the narcissist wants to control us and flying monkeys often betray us, it's important to remember that  the title of family can extend to those who are willing to show up in our lives.  Never underestimate the power of love between …

Wake Up Wednesday–Moving Beyond the Dysfunctional Family Circus

Wake up calls are not always negative, sometimes they can be positive. Beth wrote me last week to describe how she had grown up being criticized, false accused and often verbally attacked by her family members. It took leaving home and going away to college for her to realize she wasn't the problem after all. …

Memoir Monday–Skip the Rant and Make it a Story

One of the biggest reasons we write memoir is to tell our stories, but these stories also teach us about ourselves and our family histories. A good memoir not only tells a story,  but describes the journey the author has been on which might include their own faults as well as the people who abused …

How to Deal With Narcissistic Hate-Mail

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a flying monkey or a narcissist, you’ve probably received some hate-mail, but just in case you haven’t, allow me to tell you what it's like so you can be prepared when it happens. It might start out with some of your least favorite things and a long list …

Memoir Monday–Angry Relatives

Today’s blog is not a pretty picture blog because I am going to share some of the ugly reality about writing a memoir and dealing with angry relatives. If this is not your mug of mocha, please excuse this and know I will try to write about blue skies and fluffy koalas in the future, …