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Tag: If my wounds were visible

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

If My Wounds Were Visible

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Cherilyn Clough

Cherilyn Clough is a Shanachie, Stargazer, Cat Whisperer and Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse. She’s writing a memoir because what happens in childhood, never stays in childhood.

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Hi Friends, It’s Memoir Monday! There are so many sad stories—everyone has a trauma story, but all survivors have good stories too. One of the sheroes in my memoir went through a lot of pain in her life and every time I said, “Wow! You’ve been through a lot!” She would reply, “Well, I’m here!” It was her way of acknowledging she was alive and had survived. She was much older than me and passed away a few years ago, but when I looked for her obituary online, I found the epitaph on her gravestone said, “Well, I’m here.” She was most definitely here and alive and she poured so much into my life and the lives of others. Of course, I was too young and immature to realize all she had conquered at the time. I took her strength and victories for granted. This is another reason we love to read good memoirs, they remind us of how it is possible to survive the most difficult times and carry our love forward to others. Sometimes we take our own survival for granted. Even if you shed a few tears today, don’t let the narcissist to steal the celebration of your victories. Take time to write out a gratitude list every day even if it’s only three things. Make sure at least one of those things is an acknowledgement of what you’ve survived. Your life, your story and your love are all a part of God’s greater story of love. Celebrate your peace and freedom while you are here! #memoirmonday #memoir #story #yourstorymatters #narcissisticabuse #freedom #littleredsurvivor

It seems everyone’s getting at least a little snow this week—if not a lot. Whether you love it or hate it, the tiny snowflake is a reminder that each of us are unique and one of a kind. When I was young, my mom made me dress just like my sisters. I hated dressing alike. For one thing my next oldest sister was two inches shorter than me and very petite. Mama said I was just “big boned.” When I was eleven Daddy said I was “husky.” I knew husky was the fat kids size when we bought my brother’s “toughskins” jeans from Sears, Roebuck and Co. All of these words combined to label me and steal my true identity. I was just like my sisters only fatter. Boys could be husky, but not girls. Mama was fat, but we were not allowed to say the word. When I tried to count calories or exercise, Mama called me vain. This is what I mean, when I say I was asked to play a game I could never win. In my adulthood, I’ve tried to show my mother that overweight people have value too. We aren’t losers just because we can’t shop at the trendy stores. We can still be beautiful no matter what our size. It wasn’t until this last year that I realized I have a lymphatic disease called Lipodema. There’s a reason for my swollen legs and constant pain. People who have lipodema often have lymphedema too. It’s so easy to judge, but the truth is lipodema fat is resistant to diet and exercise and it seems to run in families. This is not an excuse to stop exercising or over indulge in truffles—it just explains why my mother and grandmother and great grandmother all had swollen legs before I did. We aren’t freaks after all—we have a disease that is not curable—it can only be managed. I’m going public about Lipodema for all the girls with large legs who struggle with weight and question their worth. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to be large. Stop letting the careless comments of others hurt you. You are one of a kind in body, mind and soul. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your unique voice and value. God Loves you exactly as you are—despite your struggles, you were made to shine. #lipodema #memoir #beyourself #fatdisorders #littleredsurvivor

Hi Friends, It’s Wake Up Wednesday! If you’ve been dealing with a narcissist, you might find yourself overwhelmed by the amount of lies they put out. Some of us haven’t been around our families for years and yet they still make stuff up. The truth is most of my family doesn’t know me—they just pretend they know about me because they chose to follow the narc’s lies. Sure it hurts when your own mother lies about you or you have to explain why you don’t spend holidays with your family, but you can’t control them. Just remember they can lie about you, but they can’t change your character. Maya Angelou once suggested a woman should reinvent herself daily. I like that. A fresh start with each dawn. No holdovers or resentments from yesterday. No regrets about past choices. If we don’t reinvent ourselves, others will. Don’t let others invent you. Let your voice be heard. We can only make choices for this one day. Make it a good one. #wakeupwednesday #littleredsurvivor #reinventyourself #mayaangelou #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #narcissism #survivor

Little Red Survivor ©2019 Cherilyn Clough

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