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Tag: If my wounds were visible

June 1, 2018June 1, 2018 Cherilyn Clough

If My Wounds Were Visible

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Welcome to Little Red Survivor Freedom From Narcissistic and Religious Abuse

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Cherilyn Clough

Cherilyn Clough is a Shanachie, Stargazer, Cat Whisperer and Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse. She’s writing a memoir because what happens in childhood, never stays in childhood.

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Hi Friends, It’s Freedom Friday! In this season where every one is seeking light, we pay little attention to the darkness, but even darkness leads us to freedom. If you think about it, you might even say the darkness is where things get baked. “...New life starts in the dark. Whether it is a seed in the ground, a baby in the womb, or Jesus in the tomb, it starts in the dark.” -Barbara Brown Taylor It’s hard to find ways to be grateful for the darkness of narcissistic abuse because it’s stolen so much from us—honesty, respect, affection, trust, family, peace of mind—the list goes on and on, but even this darkness—even the gag gift of a flying monkey or the false title of being called scapegoat are gifts to help us find our priorities. Narcissistic abuse has been a gift to me because it’s taught me how to live a better life and seek healthier relationships. Narcissistic abuse taught me to stand up for myself and find my boundaries. Narcissistic abuse taught me that I can never take honesty and respect for granted, but must cultivate them and require them in all my relationships. Narcissistic abuse taught me the value of empathy and kindness for myself and others. Narcissistic abuse taught me to refuse to accept rude behavior and seek people who love instead. Narcissistic abuse taught me pure religion doesn’t have an elite group that puts down any people, but ALL are God’s beloved. In short, narcissistic abuse woke me up to the ways I treat people and in response to such darkness, I’ve become a new person who loves better. So yes, narcissistic abuse in a family is a big ol’ crappy box of darkness and it’s broken my heart several times, but it’s also directed me to the light. There is a light that shines in the darkness which is only visible there. -Barbara Brown Taylor #freedomfriday #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissism #survivor #gift #darkness #gratitude #giftofdarkness #lightinthedarkness #littleredsurvivor

It’s Wake Up Wednesday Friends! We all want to have a good relationship with our parents, but at what cost? Are you sacrificing who you are? Are you giving gifts as a pay off? Are you groveling for time and attention? If you said yes to any of the above, it might be worth examining your motives and behaviors. You can’t control your ex or your siblings or your parents—you’re the only person you have any power over. If the narcissist in your life is controlling, it might be time to put on the brakes and find your boundaries. If the narc is in victim mode and ignores you, remember silence is always the best answer when someone ignores your words. You can’t have a healthy relationship with a turnip, but like Brené Brown says, “This doesn't change the fact that you are worthy of love and belonging." Wake up to the empty people in your family, but look for new, chosen family—people who are already waking and are real with the capacity for love. The poet Walt Whitman seems to understand: I am larger, better than I thought; I did not know I held so much goodness. All seems beautiful to me. … Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me; Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me. -Walt Whitman #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #narcissism #family #dysfunctionalfamily #selfworth #boundaries #friendsarethefamilywechoose #littleredsurvivor #wakeupwednesday

My vote goes to Be Cherished Salon for Winter Wonderland and the most Heartwarming and cozy salon! @AshlandWindowWonderland @TravelAshland @ashlandchamberoregon

Little Red Survivor ©2018 Cherilyn Clough

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