Memoir Monday–Angry Relatives

Today’s blog is not a pretty picture blog because I am going to share some of the ugly reality about writing a memoir and dealing with angry relatives. If this is not your mug of mocha, please excuse this and know I will try to write about blue skies and fluffy koalas in the future, …

Flying Monkeys or Walking on Hot Lava–Which do You Prefer?

Well friends, I wish every blog I write could be as beautiful and encouraging as the last one, but I guess we don’t get to live on the mountaintop very often since most of us are dealing with all the narcissistic smog in the valley below. As an Enneagram seven, I’m not fond of sad …

Don’t Let the Narc Mess With Your Heart

Think about all the lies, the put downs and the gaslighting. All the times you tried to explain your heart to someone who was committed to misunderstanding it. All the times your empathetic heart was used by the Narcissist, who said it was your own fault. All the times the Narcissist stepped on your heart, …

Celebrate Only in Freedom

This is the time of year we hear lots of quotes and comments about being grateful. Sometimes we even read or hear admonitions to be grateful for what we have and for those of us who have fractured families, it can feel like a slap in the face. Such messages usually come from superficial friends …

F the Trauma Bond

While she was growing up, Macy's parents used her as their slave and beat her whenever she didn't do what they wanted. Her three brothers lived like kings compared to her. When Macy became an adult, her parents wanted her to be an accountant and even though she wanted to be a nurse, she took …

My Least Favorite Things

Here’s a little poem I wrote. Try to imagine Julie Andrews singing it. My Least Favorite Things People who punish as much as they're able, Gossip and whining and pride on the table, Gifts and affection all tied up with strings, These are a few of my least favorite things. Family secrets and abject denial, …

If You Give a Narc an Apology

If you give a Narc an apology, he'll want some groveling to go with it.  He’ll say you owe him and ask you to pick up the pieces for all the messes he’s made. When you refuse to pick up his messes, he will accuse you of things you've never done. You’ll try to set the record straight, …

Narcissistic Word Salad

When I was a kid we used to sing "the salad song." It was a song made up of random phrases from several songs strung together. If you start a song and someone else wanted to sing the salad song, you could end up sing a different song altogether because once the salad song gets …

Life is Short–Spend it With Kind People

It’s the coziest time of the year–time to grab a pumpkin latte, get acquainted with your favorite sweater and head out on a road trip to enjoy the autumn colors with someone you love. It would be fun to chant over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go--unless grandmother is more like a wolf in …

Narc Shunning vs. No Contact

People who didn't grow up ACoN often don't understand the idea of No Contact. They think it means not forgiving or holding a grudge, but that's not always the case. While Shunning and No Contact might look the same, they are done for entirely different reasons due to the motivation of the person who does it. Shunning by the Narc …