5 Reasons You Should Watch the Shack

Isn't The Shack just a made up story? Yes. Is it even based on biblical facts? Yes, in some ways, but I like to think of it as an allegory. Pilgrim's Progress wasn't a true story either. But wait, God is a man and not a woman, right? Well, who of us has seen God? These …

Celebrate Only in Freedom

This is the time of year we hear lots of quotes and comments about being grateful. Sometimes we even read or hear admonitions to be grateful for what we have and for those of us who have fractured families, it can feel like a slap in the face. Such messages usually come from superficial friends …

The Hidden Elephant of Narcissism

There's a phrase, the elephant in the living room, which purports to describe what it's like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, "How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn't you see the elephant in the living room?" …

How to Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse

It's been three years since a friend invited me to join a private group on Facebook. I didn't believe the group was for me so I ignored the first request. After a second offer, I joined to be polite. Within an hour I found the answer to a puzzle that had been plaguing me for …

How to Know When It’s NOT Your Fault

When I was five years old, I was standing outside the swimming pool when my mother asked me to watch my one year old brother while she went inside to get my new born sister who was crying. I watched my brother faithfully. I watched him flip over on his little paddle board. I watched …

Healing from Hidden Abuse Book Review

It's not the load that breaks us down--heaven knows if we could see it all at once we might just shift our hips and find a better way to carry it--no, it's the shrapnel of life that keeps turning up in our relationships or the gloom we feel when we’re alone due to the painful …

We Are Shaped by Our Stories

You've probably heard the saying, "We're only as sick as our secrets." One of my secrets is that my family was often homeless. It happened for a short time when I was eight years old. Then we lived in a cabin with limited utilities for most of seven years. During that time, we took our …

Independence Day Again

Do you have an independence day? No, I'm not talking about a national holiday, but the day you were set free because you realized a relationship with someone you loved was not going to work any more? It seems we have many independence days along this journey from narcissism. Sometimes we have to get up and declare our independence just to get out of bed …

What the Bible Really Says About Honoring Our Parents

About a year ago one of my relatives took offense in my belief that women should be treated with equality in the church and after spouting all her venom on my FaceBook wall, I removed her as a friend. I sent her an email explaining why and suggested we talk in private through email rather than …

Daring Greatly–The Courage of the Roosevelts

Jeri grew up with a narcissist mother who put her down and told her she was stupid and ugly. She has now come to a place where her marriage has failed, her family seems to do nothing but criticize her and her health is of some concern. The other day, she explained how the prospect …