Just Say No to Bullies

The other day I heard from a young mother who told me about a bullying problem at a Christian school. Her child kept coming home hurt from a bully’s rude comments and hitting. She encouraged her child to stand tall in dignity, look the bully in the eye and ask, "Why are you hitting me?" …

5 Reasons You Should Watch the Shack

Isn't The Shack just a made up story? Yes. Is it even based on biblical facts? Yes, in some ways, but I like to think of it as an allegory. Pilgrim's Progress wasn't a true story either. But wait, God is a man and not a woman, right? Well, who of us has seen God? These …

Don’t Shut Up, Your Voice Matters

Well Friends, I have been dumbfounded. I haven’t been sure what to write about lately because there is just so much sad news, I can hardly bear to write about it. When you grow up with oppression and live in fear of a belt and are refused an education, your hope turns to the government and church—people …

How to Survive Spiritual Abuse

In my early twenties, I was part of a Christian music ministry and for nine months we sang at a different church every night. We were told to respect the authority of our leaders because they were set in place by God. One day at training camp, I was slapped in the face for leaving a three hour meeting …

Women Pastors and Corporate Abuse in the Church

I've been in mourning these last few weeks. Not over a person--but over a church. Specifically the church I grew up in. The church that has been a spiritual home at least in name to six generations of my family. Yet even though I say six generations of family, my childhood home was far different …

The Spirit of the Lord is Freedom

This blog is about freedom from narcissism and religious abuse. Today I am going to write about the deep sadness in my heart over the church I grew up in and the growing threat to religious liberty. Ted Wilson, the world president of the Seventh day Adventist church is on a witch hunt. Of course …

Healing from Hidden Abuse Book Review

It's not the load that breaks us down--heaven knows if we could see it all at once we might just shift our hips and find a better way to carry it--no, it's the shrapnel of life that keeps turning up in our relationships or the gloom we feel when we’re alone due to the painful …

You Won’t be Left Behind–Unless You Choose to Be

If I could go back in time, I’d go back forty years and give my thirteen year old self some advice: You won't be left behind--unless you want to be. It was popular to wear red, white and blue in 1976 because it was the bicentennial year and everyone was celebrating the fact that the United …

We Are Shaped by Our Stories

You've probably heard the saying, "We're only as sick as our secrets." One of my secrets is that my family was often homeless. It happened for a short time when I was eight years old. Then we lived in a cabin with limited utilities for most of seven years. During that time, we took our …

How Do We Love?

How do we love? Do we love with picket signs and judgment? Or with silence and shunning for the people who look, speak, think, live and believe differently than us? How do we love? Do we protect ourselves with weapons made of metal or use hate-filled words of steel to threaten those who see things …