Imagine There’s No Haters

Most controlling parents seem unaware of how much their expectations and punishments suck the life out of their children long after they leave home. I still occasionally feel guilty whenever I cut my hair, eat certain foods or befriend people I know my parents would disapprove of while I was growing up, but I don't …

Don’t Let the Narc Mess With Your Heart

Think about all the lies, the put downs and the gaslighting. All the times you tried to explain your heart to someone who was committed to misunderstanding it. All the times your empathetic heart was used by the Narcissist, who said it was your own fault. All the times the Narcissist stepped on your heart, …

Don’t Shut Up, Your Voice Matters

Well Friends, I have been dumbfounded. I haven’t been sure what to write about lately because there is just so much sad news, I can hardly bear to write about it. When you grow up with oppression and live in fear of a belt and are refused an education, your hope turns to the government and church—people …

MLK Advice for the ACoN Soul

Being a white girl, living in a white neighborhood and not knowing any people of color, Martin Luther King Jr. was never mentioned in my childhood home. His birthday was never celebrated as a holiday until I was twenty, but I actually never learned anything about him until I was in college and we had …

How to Survive Spiritual Abuse

In my early twenties, I was part of a Christian music ministry and for nine months we sang at a different church every night. We were told to respect the authority of our leaders because they were set in place by God. One day at training camp, I was slapped in the face for leaving a three hour meeting …

How to Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse

It's been three years since a friend invited me to join a private group on Facebook. I didn't believe the group was for me so I ignored the first request. After a second offer, I joined to be polite. Within an hour I found the answer to a puzzle that had been plaguing me for …

Why You Need to Talk with Your Younger Self

Have you ever met a stranger who reminds you of your Grandma? Or reminds you of a mean aunt who verbally abused you? When we react to other people and various stimuli, we are often reacting to our past experiences. These clues might seem like nothing at first, but consider how the triggers of the past influence the …

The Double Bind on the ACoN Soul

Alisa was the scapegoat while her sister was the golden child. She grew up feeling like she didn’t belong and often wondered if she was adopted. It was hard to grow up feeling like she was on the outside of her family’s inner circle. A few years ago her father asked her to come to …

Let Your Voice Be Heard

When people take the time to write out their stories, I am so honored. My goal in building this website was to help ACoNs* realize they are not alone. When you share your stories with me, you remind me that I am not alone either. This week I received a letter from someone who wrote, …

Inside Out Movie Review for ACONs

*SPOILER ALERT* Have you ever wondered what’s going inside your head? Pixar has given us a new tool for this. “Inside Out,” their newest release, is a drama on the inside of a girl's head named Riley. The main characters are a panel of creatures who stand in for Riley's emotions. Anyone who’s been to counseling might …